So here you are, yet again.
You’ve gotten your heart broken by some douche you thought was different from the boys you’ve fallen in love with. You’ve yet again been slapped by the fact this wasn’t worth another risk you’ve gathered all your remaining courage and strength taking.
Here you are, like a déjà vu, getting countless calls from friends to check on you from time to time – telling and convincing you for the nth time you’ve done the right thing when you’re still a little convinced you need him, that you want him back, that he’s the one for you.
Here you are on another round of crying to sleep – or not sleeping at all, on another round of hating the guy but hating yourself more for never learning, on another round of wondering what you did wrong – or what you missed doing.
Here you are questioning yourself one more time if you are worth loving.
Here you are hitting a whole new rock bottom and you find it both funny and ridiculous because you’ve been here countless times, yet it seems as if you’re clueless about what you’re supposed to do.
Here you are going back to that very first phase of moving forward – the worst part ever.
But let me tell you this, sweetie. You did the right thing. You are worth every love in there is. There’s nothing wrong with you, and you did your part to get your relationship to work. Do not put the blame on yourself over something that is not worth blaming yourself for, because you will eventually get that sigh of relief because you’re done wasting your time on him.
And I know this won’t ease the pain you’re feeling over the fact some asshole got you into this state again. I know you’re now into going through all the phases of getting over and healing one more time.
And as you do, go ahead and drink your beer.
Drink your beer and cry. I know it’s hard to be with people right now, so go ahead and drink your beer in your room. Buy as many bottles as you can and go indulge yourself. Drink your beer and listen to all the songs that remind you of him. Read your previous conversations and notice how the way he talks to you changed over time. Go ahead and cry, drink your beer – scream and sob if you must. Talk to the photo of him still kept on your side table.
And when you’re done dealing with this on your own, get out there. Meet people and drink your beer.
Drink your beer and rant. Go rant to your friends over one beer, or two, or a bucket. Go ahead and rant to that bartender who has nothing to do with you. Rant until you can’t rant anymore. Go whine about him and get it all out of your chest. Listen to what they have to say, although you don’t really have to do whatever they tell you to do. Because, who are we kidding? Forgetting about him is almost impossible at this point. You still smell him, hear him, and feel him. It’s hard to forget someone who gave you a lot to remember at one point, and then leave you as if nothing happened at another.
Drink your beer and dance or sing your heart out. You’re going to break down a little from some songs you’ll find yourself singing, and you will just wipe your tears and continue on singing. Let every ounce of beer take away all the pain you’re in. Let yourself regret, and then let yourself be grateful it happened because I guarantee you, you’ll learn from this.
Drink as much as you can because no one actually says you can’t. Because you can.
But get this. As you wake up the next day all hungover, remember why you drank in the first place. I hope this will make you realize he fucked up enough to hurt you and to get you to find comfort from that enormous number of beer you just had. And the next time to drink your beer, I hope it’s because you’ve finally gotten that sigh of relief.
Because you did the right thing.
Because there’s nothing wrong with you.
Because you’re worth every love there is.