This Is How I Remember The Love We Shared Before You Gave Me Up

istockphoto.com / Stefano Tinti
istockphoto.com / Stefano Tinti

I remember sitting across you in a room full of strangers. I was intently looking at your beautiful brown eyes. You glanced and I kept my stare. I swear our eyes had a conversation.

I remember staying up all night getting giddy over text messages. For hours, we’d try to get to know each other. Not caring about time. You told me a story of a fish falling in love with another; you named them after me and you. Cheesy. Then one night, you called and, god, your voice, oh my, your voice, I could listen to you all day and I will never tire.

I remember the moment you told me you loved me and I knew I felt the same.

I remember our first kiss. Funny, the both of us didn’t intend for it to happen but I don’t regret it. It wasn’t like what people see in movies, it was genuine. It felt nice.

I remember seeing you cry for the first time, and we cried together. It’s as romantic as it gets. Our souls bare. We talked about everything. You told me that I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to you, and you were mine too.

I remember not seeing you for months. I swear I would’ve died of longing. I missed you more and more everyday. We’d call each other often and sometimes I’d start a fight because you replied late, pretty petty. You were busy, and I was just plain needy. Til we got together and we both knew it isn’t meant to end just like that.

I remember giving you a note saying, if ever we don’t end up together, know that I’ll never love anyone else as much as I’ve loved you and you replied with, if ever we don’t end up together with you are in my greatest memories..

I remember you taking me to lunch with your family. Trying to understand what in the world all of you were talking about and laughing when you would have to explain it to me.

I remember sleeping together for the first time. Mornings were so much better when I woke up next to you.

I remember getting the same classes together and having the best semester. Your grades went up and so did mine. We were good together. We kept each other in tact.

I remember making little misunderstanding, big deals.

I remember you hitting me on the leg, on the arm and me telling you to stop because it hurt. We fought because I wanted to break up but we didn’t. You told me you’d never do it again. And you never did.

I remember writing on my journal everything you ever did to me, we ever did. Whatever we had, it was lovely, along with the hurt.

I remember getting a text from you saying, “Can we talk?” My heart froze. I barely slept that night.

I remember watching you cry for the second time. It hurt when I let you go. You asked for time and space and I thought it wasn’t worth the fight.

I remember you asking, what if we do end up together? I couldn’t say anything. I didn’t want to expect it.

I remember ignoring your every message. I can’t begin to explain myself. I guess I wanted to move on…

6 months later, I see you. I remembered everything good. I remember you as the friend that’s always there for me. I remember you as the boy who’d sing and dance to every car song. I remember you as the boy who made me laugh all the time. I remember you as the boy who gave me all of his­ rather than the boy who broke my heart.

I still love you. And I can’t imagine the day that I never will. TC mark

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