The Unspoken Truth About Being Best Friends Forever

Flickr / Georgie Pauwels
Flickr / Georgie Pauwels

Understand that life is filled with transience. No matter how much you’d want to create and perhaps maintain constants within your life, you can truly only do so much to assure maintaining anything. More often than not, many of you are afraid of change and inconsistency. You may not think that the afraid is the right term, but simply, you’d rather just avoid it. This is very evident throughout many aspects of your life, but most especially when it comes to relationships, particularly friendships.

Most, if not all of you may have heard of the term “best friends forever” or simply, “BFF.” A fraction of you guys may have even used this term to describe your friendship with a particular person or group of people. And you tend to put so much weight on the word “forever”, but when the time comes that through some sort of unexpected fate, you diverge paths, you realize that “forever” really didn’t mean forever. However, that doesn’t mean that when you did acknowledge to each other that you guys were “best friends forever”, your intention was any less true or authentic. It’s a common mistake to put the blame on that moment of recognition of your relationship, thinking that something was wrong, something was overlooked, or someone was confused. And although any of those are possible, it’s rare for people to truly look back and understand the situation, and the terms of “forever.” There are things that come with being “BFF”s with people that are often preferred to be ignored due to their sense of negativity. Nonetheless, after countless relationships, friendships, it’s hard to believe that these aren’t true.

You are BFFs, because you love each other. You know that. You understand each other. You care for each other. You may even run to each other whenever needed. You are really best friends, and nothing, seems to be strong enough to break that relationship. It’s so secure, so solid, that you dare not to question it or even doubt it. It’s that relationship that is just right, you don’t ask for more, nor less. That is all true, but beyond that, there is so much more.

You are BFFs … at that moment. What do I mean by this? When you become BFFs with a person in a certain moment, who you are at that point in time is best friends forever with who the other person is at that point in time. And it makes sense. Person A + Person B = BFFs. It will always be like that, no matter what. Forever. However, what people often fail to realize is the fact that Person A in a certain point of time may not be exactly the same to Person A in a different time, perhaps 5 years ahead. There are so many different factors and aspects that make up a person, and there is completely no guarantee who you are right now will be exactly the same as who you will be in the future. As such, it’s not the “forever” agreement that is flawed, it could actually be the condition, itself. The condition is that it should be Person A and Person B, but after a while, you could be Person AA while your friend could be Person BB.

You are BFFs, but that’s not all that you are. Before being best friends forever, you were best friends. And before that, you were friends first and foremost. Taking out “forever” in the name, or perhaps even seeing a sign of a weakening relationship, doesn’t mean that it’s the apocalypse. It’s never the end. When you understand that being BFFs doesn’t truly assure a lasting relationship throughout your whole life, you must then understand that not being BFFs does not correspond to the end of your relationship. You could go back to being best friends, talk to each other less perhaps, but still trust each other just as much. Or you could just be friends, you can hang out, you can talk, but there’s nothing too special. And there is completely nothing wrong with that. Your BFF relationship stands on much more concrete fundamentals that will take so much more to bring down.

You are BFFs, you’re meant to last. Yes, I did say being BFFs technically only solidify just that certain moment. However, I did say that you have a lot beneath just being BFFs as well. You have probably gone through experiences you’ll never forget. You aren’t BFFs just because you get along well in that moment. You are well beyond that. As such, just because the “forever” in BFF does not exactly encompass your whole life, it doesn’t mean you can’t be best friends that long. People change, people grow, and sometimes, that growth is growing apart. But then, it could also be growing closer. As people change, people also adapt. Just because Person A + Person B = BFFs, it doesn’t mean that Person AA + Person ≠ BFFs. When we change, that doesn’t mean we can’t get along with the people we used to get along with. With a conscious effort and sensitivity, it’s very possible to maintain a lasting relationship. The often mistake many commit once in a BFF relationship with someone is to lay back and think that no matter what happens, it’ll always be that way. But it isn’t the laid back attitude that got you to where you are. Just the same, it won’t be that same attitude that will keep you there. TC mark

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