Don’t Send These Emails

There will come a time when you will be faced with whether or not to send a follow-up email to someone you thought you hit it off with, subsequently emailed and have not hear back from since. Here are your options….

The No Shame

Subject line: Checking in

Hey ________,

Really fun meeting you that other night at _____________. Thought I’d be a little brazen and reach out again just to say I had a really great time, so let me know if you want to grab another drink soon. I know you have my number from that night, but just in case I gave it to you wrong or something – I’m 555-2222.

Hope you’re having a great day!

The Angry

Subject line: ???

I’m sure it’s been crazy at work for you, but just wondering if you got my email 1.5 weeks ago and have any interest in the drink we talked about extensively when we met and spent the entire evening together. No worries at all if you’re no longer interested, but could you just drop me a line to let me know so I can confirm in my mind that you’re not an option? You could just say, “Hey, sorry, going to be totally busy over the next few weeks” and I’ll know what that means because everyone knows what that means.

The Passive Aggressive

Subject line: Hi :)

Hey _______________,

Just checking in to say hi again. Loving the gorgeous weather, right?!

Hope all’s well!

The I’ll teach you a lesson

Subject line: Listen…
Okay ___________,

I get that you’re not interested in hanging out again because you haven’t returned my email in close to two weeks. But my thing is, don’t say, “you’re really great, we should get drinks this weekend” if you a. know for a fact that won’t happen or b. think there’s a chance that won’t happen. If you know for a fact please stop talking to me and walk away. If you think there’s a chance say, “give me your number, maybe I’ll call you sometime.” But to say “we should get drinks this weekend” and then not respond to an email for two weeks when I know full well you have an iPhone is just weird. Don’t do it.



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  • Michael Koh

    ideas to send these out on craigslist

  • Beeskibran

    This was great! I hope some of my stalkers read this and get the hint

    • googling is the new stalking

      I hope you find some balls somewhere and just tell your stalkers (a.k.a. guys/girls who are interested in you) that you’re not interested in them, straight up. It takes courage to reach out to someone you’re interested in. It’s just cowardly, on the other hand, to run away and call those people stalkers behind their backs. 

    • Tyrone

      you’re just paranoid.

  • Rishtopher

    I wish “The I’ll Teach You a Lesson” was acceptable. Is it so wrong for people to just say what they actually mean? Maybe I’m just a very confrontational person though lol.

    • NoSexCity

      Wrong? No. But you’re definitely going to be referred to as crazy by them & everyone they choose to forward the email to. Sooooo take your pick: straight forward (and nuts) or sad (but not crazy). 

      • Rishtopher

        I prefer the term “confrontational” as opposed to “crazy”, but I guess both are pretty bad  lol. I’d argue I already have that reputation since I kind of already said stuff along the same lines IRL to friends/acquaintances before. That said, I’d never say this to someone I wanted to date, in an email or otherwise.

        I still think it’s better for people to let each other know or at least imply that nothing is going to happen when the encounter actually takes place. I make an effort to be clear about this stuff, why can’t other people? 

      • NoSexCity

        Here’s the thing – the word confrontation implies a sense of conflict, a clashing of wills. The word holds a lot of aggressive undertones, hence it being linked to ‘crazy’. Because a sane person never has unmanageable feelings or fits involving a need to be forthright about their feelings.

        Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate forwardness in others and (usually) hold myself to the same standard… but girl (boy?), if you go at it like that on the regular you’re definitely “that cray fool” in more than a few social circles.

      • Rishtopher

        Well, I didn’t mean to imply any aggressive feelings lol. I just like to say what I mean. I just checked with my friend, and it does seem like you’re right about how people (who aren’t my friends) perceive me. I don’t mind though. Hopefully I’ll meet someone just as “crazy” as I am and we’ll hit it off?

        Oh, and “boy” please :P

    • lizlemonwannabe

      I so wish it wasn’t. I actually think it is a waste of time to be indirect about things. Don’t think it’s confrontational. Just not wasting anyone’s time. And what is wrong with a bit of honesty godamnit???

  • EarthToNichole

    “Don’t Send These Emails Part Two: Employer Who Rejected You”

    The Container Store (yes, I got rejected for a retail position as a sales associate at THE CONTAINER STORE.)

    Dear (manager’s name removed),

    I’m sorry that my college degree and years of retails experience do not qualify me for a position at your store. Having said that, I actually hate all types of containers and was just hoping to work there so I could secretly stock the shelves with books and return the space to the wonderful independent bookstore it once was.

    Books > containers.


  • Lauren

    Haha, I like the Felicity EMail.

  • Anonymous

    “Thanks for getting in touch. I know I said I’d like to hang out again but I changed my mind. Good luck to you.”

    You see what I did there? Took 10 seconds to type. Sac up. Don’t be a coward.

  • NoSexCity

    … unless you’re in NYC, in which case wait three weeks and send a non-committal 2-liner with no subject line to test the waters. Repeat.

    • mercedes delusive


  • Kai

    Oh god, I’ve totally done the concert tickets thing, but only ONLY when I were already buying tickets, and I have never (the one time I did this) “just scored two tickets”. I bought four, after confirming that all four would be used. And then a friend was a broke student and I sold it to the cute employe guys. (“Sold” = traded for beer & shots) And Gogol Bordello rock, so I totally would have gone anyway.

    • --

      what are you even talking about

      • Guest


  • Ali

    Ughhhhhh. Just ugh. Been in this position way too many times.

  • Jordana Bevan

    worst thing is they feel like such a good idea at the time and keep feeling like a good idea until you realize there won’t be a response. that’s when it starts to fucking blow.

  • Anonymous

    Shame. So much shame. Sent one of those emails – ok fine. It was a follow up OkCupid message –  several days ago.  No response.  Dammit. We were really hitting it off, too! I swear! 

  • Farhan | Official

    George Constanza email?

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