The concept of soulmate love can be complex, even mysterious, like poaching an egg or assembling furniture from IKEA. There’s such a wide array of information out there on how to define “soulmate,” what to do when when you’ve connected with yours, and the most confusing topic of all: why your soulmate relationship ended abruptly, resulting in a broken heart and a weight gain of 15 pounds.
Well, take it from someone who has had two soulmate relationships (one of which I’m currently in): there are a few key concepts that you need to know in order to attract a soulmate and maintain a deep connection, and they’re far more straightforward than you think.
1. You can have more than one soulmate.
You probably grew up believing this narrative: You’d meet your dream partner in your 20s (maybe late teens if you were destined to experience young love or if you grew up on a farm in the middle of nowhere). You’d feel instant chemistry with this perfect person, fall in love, and live happily ever after. There’d be several optional add-on items, such as a golden retriever, a house with room for a barbecue, and a few kids with nice teeth and your aunt Betty’s nose, but those were extra, and you’d get to that later.
Well, as nice as that story seems, I’m sorry to say that it’s simply not the reality for most of us. The truth is that you might have two or even three soulmates, depending on your stage of life. While it is hard to believe that you can have such a deep connection with more than one person, it’s not only plausible, it’s more than likely. The person you feel such a deep connection to at 24 might not ring your bells at 44, and that’s okay. It just means you have to readjust your perception of what soulmate love looks like.
2. Everyone has a soulmate.
Everyone has a soulmate, but not everyone finds their soulmate. Why? Oftentimes, people make choices out of fear. They are shy, insecure, or impulsive. They settle for less than they deserve. They give up. They get hurt and then they put up walls around their heart to keep everyone out in some misguided attempt at protection. The truth is that everyone has a soulmate: weird people, ugly people, boring people and, dare I say, even atheists.
3. The precursor to meeting a soulmate is opening your heart.
Oftentimes, you will meet your soulmate after a spiritual awakening. This is because when you become conscious, you become aware of the walls put up when you were unconscious, and you become determined to do whatever it takes to knock them down. Awakening is synonymous with opening your heart, and when you do so, you exude love, which attracts more of it into your life. When you are ready to let down your guards and shift the way you perceive life, it’s only a matter of time before you meet your soulmate.
4. The purpose of your relationship is to expand your consciousness.
The idea that people enter into relationships to get married and acquire a mortgage and 401k is complete nonsense. Your soul’s primary focus is to awaken, find meaning, to expand your consciousness and perceive the world and your life not just from the limited perception of your five senses, but also by connecting to your spirit, deepening your intuition, and tuning into ideas that come from your Highest Self. While you might care about your partner’s height, salary, or if he lives in a rental or a co-op, your soul simply doesn’t care about superficial nonsense. Instead, it knows the exact person who will help you to become the most loving and conscious version of yourself.
5. The connection you share with a soulmate is intense.
Before you experience a soulmate connection, you will likely have had a series of other relationships that, while they may have been wonderful in their own right, cannot be compared to the depth of the connection you will share with your soulmate. It will feel as if you understand the true essence of each other, like you’re able to look beyond your humanness to recognize the deeper truth in each other. It will feel as if you can communicate without words and that your paths are not only aligned, but entwined. The growth of one only quickens the growth of the other.
6. You will still argue with your soulmate.
While it would be nice, you’re not going to hear harps and bluejays every minute you’re with your soulmate. While you will share a deep connection, you will also have to face the ordinariness of life: traffic tickets, PMS, and dirty dishes. However, with a soulmate, you will find that there is potential to actually work through problems, and you can do so without screaming, acting passive aggressively, or saying mean things and then apologizing profusely the next day. No, your soulmate will elicit the best from you, and a soulmate relationship will require that you communicate from a place of love, and that you forgive your partner and let things go, not just because it’s essential for the relationship, but also because it’s essential to your soul’s growth.
7. A soulmate can love you fully.
A soulmate doesn’t just love you because you’ve got nice legs or a fancy degree. You share an intimate connection that allows for your soulmate to love all of you, including the less-than-lovable parts. Your soulmate will be present and hold space for you when you’re grumpy, complaining how you’ve gained 12 pounds and you don’t understand why the house is such a mess when it feels like you just cleaned.
While the concept of soulmate love can bring up more questions than answers, these seven concepts will help you to manifest a soulmate, or if you’re in a relationship, better understand the dynamics. The truth is that you’ve incarnated for the purpose of experiencing deep connections with others, and when you are willing to let down your walls and choose love over fear, you will meet people who will radically change your life and help you to awaken.