34 People On How Many Sex Partners Is Too Many

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SOPHIA SINCLAIR

1.

“My rule of thumb is you should be able to remember every person.”

—Daisy

2.

“I’m never really bothered by someone’s number because mine is so high.”

—Mike

3.

“I’m in favor of the don’t-ask-don’t-tell approach. I’ve been dating my girlfriend for two and a half years, and neither of us knows how many partners the other has slept with. I trust that her count is more than 2 but less than 10. Only a handful of partners is ideal, but I can compromise for the right girl.”

—Peter

4.

“If a guy told me he slept with 200 women, I would be put off, but mostly because I would be worried about disease, not really about him being a womanizer.”

—Erin

5.

“Eh, I don’t think anyone ever tells the truth about the number of partners. If television and romantic comedies are to be believed, girls round down and guys round up. To be fair I have a friend who tells me their number is in the 100s. Which makes me feel like I need a drink. That, in anyone’s case, is probably a little too high. I wouldn’t worry about a number unless they were telling me they used to be in porn.”

—Ryan

6.

“I honestly have never cared about this. An ‘acceptable’ number is whatever number that particular girl feels comfortable with.”

—Lucas

7.

“The number is not very important. But low numbers indicate less experience and more repressed craziness. And high numbers mean that the craziness may have been expressed but there is a higher chance of HPV. Kind of a wash.”

—Matt

8.

“If your pudendum looks like an Arby’s Roast Beef, or an angry sea anemone, give that poor thing some time off.”

—Dez

9.

“I have friends who sleep with a different girl every week, practically. I’m okay with it, but I’m not sure I’d want to sleep with them, at least not until they settled down and could be okay with just one girl. So for me, the actual number might not matter as much as their attitude. That said, 100 sexual partners is a little promiscuous and I think 20 to 50, over a lifetime, is my limit. I don’t think I could sleep with more than that without feeling gross, personally.”

–Jenni

10.

“For dudes it’s a tough question. I will probably think that any guy has slept with too many and I would say the average for a guy is probably 40 to 50 women. That is just too many. Ideally, I would like a guy to sleep with 15 to 25. Personally, I’ve slept with 14 and I would rather not sleep with more than 30 in my lifetime. Also, what about if you sleep with boys and girls? Say you’ve slept with 20 dudes, but 50 women…is that too many? I don’t know.”

—Lana

11.

“I think over 100 is really excessive. People who stay single longer are obviously going to have had more partners, but now there are all sorts of things even condoms can’t prevent. If a friend of yours got crazy and slept with someone new once a month, I probably wouldn’t blink twice. But if they never have a dry spell or never get into a serious relationship through their entire 20’s, that puts them at approximately 120 partners by age 30. And usually my head snaps back when I hear someone, other than a porn star, has slept with over 100 people.”

—Megan

12.

“I don’t really have a number that seems like ‘too much’. I think that sometimes very high numbers indicate that a person might be pathological. Of course, age and personality are factors, as is relationship history. I’d say anything over 50 for either men or women would make me take pause, not necessarily in a negative way, just in a ‘Dang, Gina!’ way.”

—Laura

13.

“Honestly, I never really think about it or care, but I guess once you hit the 20’s I think it’s kind of trashy.”

—Emma

14.

“Guys do often ask me but I’d rather not say—you like to keep a bit of mystery. My advice to any girl is: don’t tell, particularly if your figure is above ten. Most guys will think worse of you.”

—Nikki

15.

“These questions are really stupid, but if you put a gun to my head and told me to pick a number, I’d say that a woman who has had 100 partners or more is ‘promiscuous.’ But I belong to the school of thought that says there are really only two questions that you’re entitled to ask re: your partner’s sexual history:
a) do you have children?
b) do you have any STDs?
I deserve – and am honor bound to give – honest answers to these questions. Other than that, extensive discussions about sexual histories and “numbers” usually lead to grief IME, and you’re still not even sure if somebody is lying or not. So just concentrate on practicalities.”

—Jo

16.

“It matters for me, personally. I’d rather not be dating a girl that’s been with a lot of guys before and feel like I’m just another to add to the list. Especially at this point in the game, I’m ready to settle down with someone who’s serious and ready to make a long-standing commitment with me.”

—Gavin

17.

“I guess it depends how recently she’s been with all these guys, but that’s not something I’d ever outright ask her. If she’s been with a lot of guys over a long period of time, then I guess it’s not really a big deal — and really, who am I to judge? But if she’s sleeping with lots of other guys while we’re casually dating, I’m definitely not into that.”

—Jason

18.

“I think the more partners in bed, the better. As far as she can move away from society’s conditioning of her to think of herself as a slut and to be ashamed of her sexuality, the better off she is. It’s an adventure!”

—Jamal

19.

“If a girl in her 20s told me she had 30 sexual partners — I’d think that was a little extreme and intimidating. For one, 30 is a lot more partners than I’ve ever had so I’d always be wondering how I measured up (and that can be a really anxious feeling). That said, I would definitely expect a girl who’s had more sexual partners to be a little bit more uninhibited in the bedroom. That can be really exciting for a guy.”

—Aleks

20.

“My boyfriend is certain that my pussy is damaged by the amount of guys I’ve had sex with. He has this stupid belief he can’t let go, that the bigger the number of guys a woman sleeps with, the larger her pussy,” she says. “My boyfriend isn’t an asshole, he hates thinking like this, but it’s somehow stronger than him.”

—Mathilda

21.

“You should only admit to having had less than 10 partners to your next sexual partner lol that way you won’t come off as being easy.”

—Emily

22.

“’Age in years divided by 2′ is more my comfort zone.”

—Elio

23.

“It depends on their circumstances. I moved a lot in my twenties so I could not have a serious relationship. I would date at least 5-6 guys a year so my number is pretty high but understandable. As long as they are safe and have a healthy self-worth (not proving themselves with sex or exploited) I don’t believe it is the business of others to judge by numbers.”

—Julia

24.

“My friend’s rule was it should be less than your age. She was 32 and her number was 32. She was on vacation with friends and their friends. Her birthday fell in the middle of the vacation. She and this guy really hit it off. The day before her birthday, it was getting hot and heavy–but she put it off. But you better believe that at the strike of midnight the next day, they had sex LOL.”

—Koi

25.

“It depends on your age and thus your maturity level. I never asked a girl’s ‘number’ until my first wife. That was a huge mistake. She was a musician and a musician groupie. Her number was large. I felt like Bobby Murcer replacing Mickey Mantle in the Yankees CF in 1969. I was 26 years old at the time, she was 23. When I met my second wife, three years ago, I was determined to correct as many of my past mistakes. I was 37, she was 30. She asked for my past so I was honest. She was honest with hers. Our numbers were identical. Neither of us was ever diseased. Three years later, I never think about her number or anyone before me. I only see future.”

—Lance

26.

“I’ve never – and will never – ask my partner how many people they have slept with because it doesn’t matter. The past is the past. What does matter is how many people they are sleeping with NOW!”

—George

27.

“I think if you’ve slept with more than one person, it’s a little bit too much. My husband and I have only ever slept with each other and it’s perfect because we learn together.”

—Hannah

28.

“The more people you sleep with, the better you are at it. And that usually just goes for guys. If you’re a girl, that’s something completely different.”

—Tom

29.

“As long as you are practicing safe sex, your number shouldn’t matter. And if anyone says anything then they are just slut-shaming.”

—Bridget

30.

“If you’re under 30, over 55 partners leads to some serious questions. Like, why can’t you hold down one person long enough to just have a lot of sex with them? Why do you feel the need to have sex with so many people? Are you okay? Older than 30, they should have as many partners as they can because your golden years are over and you’ve got to slag it while you still got it.”

—Danielle

31.

“I don’t think there is a number too high besides, like, one every day. The number of people you sleep with doesn’t really bother me, it is more of how they go about it. You can sleep with 50 to 100 people in your lifetime, but as long as you are respectful and not gross about it, it’s fine.”

—Isabella

32.

“Depends on age, but if you’re in your mid-twenties I frown upon any more than five.”

—Jesse

33.

“Everyone’s entitled to their preference in the opposite sex. For me, 30 sexual partners -especially by age 24 – would be way too many. She’s not guaranteed to have an STD but odds are she encountered a few along her journey. Regardless, multiple sex partners is a major turnoff for me.”

—Ataraxia

34.

“To me the one partner that…
1. gives you STD
2. lands you in jail
3. makes you feel guilty
4. causes a husband, wife, father, brother, son, sister, etc.. to get a shotgun and go after you
5. brings an unwanted child into this world
…is the one too many.
Any number before that is fine with me.
And the number that brings the last one that keeps you wanting no more is the perfect number.”

—Name Withheld TC mark

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