‘Are You Done Yet?’: 14 Women Vent Their Frustrations About Men Who Take Too Long To Cum


“I HATE guys who take forever. It only takes me 5-10 minutes to cum a couple of times and then I am done. Marathons hold no interest for me and can make me very sore. Give me your Minutemen, kinda, and I am happy as a clam!”

2. I find myself just looking at the clock

“My boyfriend lasts WAY too long in bed. He normally lasts 45+ minutes and has to finish himself because we will end up waiting two hours otherwise. Even when he does have to finish himself that takes around 20-30 minutes, and when he is finishing himself up, he wants me to be all over his neck, biting his ears, and rubbing my tits in his face. After an hour, it really isn’t doing anything for me and I find myself just looking at the clock.”


“Back in my early days of sex-making, I had my fair share of two-pump chumps and cum-quick Charlies. As frustrating as a fast-finisher can be, I’ve learned that a long-time Larry is an even bigger frustration. (Or perhaps I’ve been having sex with my boyfriend for so long I don’t even remember what quick feels like anymore?) While most dudes would probably applaud my boyfriend for being able to hold out for the long haul, my vagina, mouth, and other various body parts aren’t as supportive of his long-lasting ability. I’ve brought it up to girlfriends, I’ve even brought it up to my gay friends, and I’m left with one clear answer: ‘You should be glad he can hold out until you’re done! I’d love for my boyfriend/husband/lover to be able to do such a thing.’ The grass is always greener and the penis is always more pleasing on the other side, isn’t it?”

4. he thrusts and pounds during sex as if my vagina was made of steel

“I am dating a man that is ‘cut’—he is the first one I have dated. It is like his penis is desensitized, he thrusts and pounds during sex as if my vagina was made of steel, he takes very long to orgasm and I get sore and it gets painful. I am always bleeding after sex and now we have decided not to use condoms anymore, vaginal dryness is eminent, it’s like his penis absorbs all the moisture my vagina produces. It is bad, real bad I am off vaginal sex now, I have never had this problem before with my two past exes who were not cut.”

5. ever since the beginning it has taken him a very long time to get off

“I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now, and ever since the beginning it has taken him a very long time to get off. He has only ejaculated a few times during sex because usually it takes so long that we both just get tired. We try lots of different positions, and I’m constantly looking up new ones, looking up new tricks for oral, I try stimulating his balls and everything. I bought some lingerie, I even squeeze my muscles down there. He tells me that it’s always been this way, that even when he masturbates it takes a while (but I’m not sure how often he masturbates). He is also circumcised, if that is relevant at all. But I am not sure what the problem is here.”

6. I get torn to shreds every single time we have sex

“We’ve been together nearly 7 years and we’re about to be 30 soon. Before me, my husband was with only one other woman some time in his teens. Before him, I was promiscuous. He is very ‘vanilla,’ while I am adventurous. He watches porn and masturbates in private, while I watch and masturbate with him right next to me in bed. We’re like the sexual version of the odd couple. Before him, I used to pray that my sex partners were marathon men that could last all night and day if I wanted them to. Some could go rounds in that way, but most ejaculated in minutes, never bringing me to orgasm. Truth be told, my husband is the first person to truly make me orgasm through vaginal intercourse. In a matter of minutes I’ve already hit my first O. About 20 minutes in, I’ve had multiples and am beginning to swell and sore because I can’t take any more. But my husband needs upwards of 45 minutes to an hour, sometimes longer before he’s anywhere near climax. I give oral and perform hand jobs, but with those I’ll be there half the day before he’d ejaculate. And his problem isn’t with an erection or attraction. Just seeing me naked or touching my large breasts has him standing at full salute in seconds. This issue is emotionally taxing on me because I feel guilty that in my days of promiscuity I have made many men orgasm in minutes but I can’t even please my husband, the man that I love and want to spend the rest of my life with. I get torn to shreds every single time we have sex. I wouldn’t mind it once in a while but it leaves me unable to have sex for days. And if I want my husband a few times a day it I can get him to ejaculate without making me raw.”

7. it takes so long my mouth becomes sore

“My boyfriend takes a long time to orgasm, and sometimes never does because we both get so tired. Even when I go down on him, he loves it but it takes so long my mouth becomes sore. He says that he’s been like this in all of his past relationships too where it takes him a long time to cum, if he does at all.”

8. Why does he last so long?

“This guy I’m seeing lives about an hour from me so we don’t have much time together as we’d like. We just recently started having sex and I noticed that it takes him a long time to cum, like an hour. Not that I don’t enjoy the hour—it’s great—but it just got me thinking. I heard that when men haven’t had sex in a long time they usually cum a lot quicker. But we haven’t had sex before and he hasn’t had sex in like 6 months. Why does he last so long? Like at first wouldn’t he cum right away since it’s been so long? Maybe I’m being paranoid but I just keep thinking that maybe he has been sleeping with other women?? I asked him why it takes him a long time to cum if he hasn’t had sex in so long and he said because he still jerks off but still I know it’s not the same feeling. Real sex is more intense.”

9. It takes my boyfriend anywhere from 45 to 90 minutes

“It takes my boyfriend anywhere from 45 to 90 minutes to have an orgasm. We start out with intercourse, but I have to give him a blowjob or hand job in order for him to cum. He hasn’t cum in me while we’re having intercourse in about four months.”


“My husband takes forever. Sometimes he doesn’t climax at all because we both run out of energy. We’re both nearing the big 4-0, and he’s on medications I know contribute to the problem. But I feel bad when I’ve had several major orgasms and he hasn’t had a one.”


“My boyfriend can only cum in the missionary position. He has to thrust really hard and deep for a long time (30 min straight sometimes) to achieve orgasm. In most cases, I find it uncomfortable or even painful because we have already been going at it for 20 minutes prior to his aggressive thrusting. I really care about him, and I want to satisfy him, so I take it for as long as I can. But, it’s getting difficult to look forward to sex anymore because it is becoming stressful. Sex has become too cum-focused. Eventually, I have to ask him to stop because I’m in pain, but then he can’t cum at all. I have discussed this with him before, but things have only gotten worse. During sex, he is so worried about he is hurting me that it takes him even longer to achieve orgasm (if he does at all), and I just end up really sore.”


“I’ve been with my b/f for just over a year. We love each other very much and do plan to get married in the near future. The problem is our sex life or maybe it’s my problem? Well anyway I can get him aroused easy enough; it’s just that he takes ages to cum and sometimes he don’t cum at all. I feel very upset. I feel like I don’t satisfy him enough and it makes me feel that I ain’t pretty enough for him. He says when I mention this to him that I’m always going on about it like it’s some problem, which I tell him it is, and he says it ain’t a problem for him. He’s always been like this. Why I don’t understand I say, and he says I am going on about nothing. Whatever I say, he’s got a answer for but it ain’t satisfying me his answers. All I keep thinking is that there’s something wrong with him… actually I’m thinking about this all the time.”

13. we are both getting really frustrated—him sexually and me emotionally

“I have been dating a nice guy for 3+ months. The first sexual encounter we had he told me he “had trouble cumming—was that a problem”? I said no. I had another guy that had it—but not this severely. He has cum once in maybe 20 encounters. I have been trying to get him to cum but didn’t want to make him feel pressured about it. But as time goes we are both getting really frustrated—him sexually and me emotionally. I have been focusing more and more on a hard effort for his orgasm, meaning every encounter I spend 20-30 minutes “tickling” and licking and massaging him (he likes that), then I move into 100% focus on penis and balls and trying to get him off with my hands and mouth – for 20-40 minutes. He will tell me “don’t keep doing the same thing…or give it a break – not so fast”, then 5 minutes later say “don’t keep changing, pick a style and STAY with it.” I hear “harder”, then “not so hard”. “Faster, then not so fast”. I have never had this kind of difficulty getting a man to cum. Tonight he asked me if I was trying to keep him from coming. Really? After one hour+ of effort TRYING?”


Whenever I give my boyfriend head he can’t achieve an orgasm without finishing himself. Sex with a condom is the same way. He takes almost an hour and has to pull out in order to finish. I’m not dissatisfied, it just gets frustrating after awhile, and an hour of thrusting inside me starts to hurt. We’ve had sex without a condom and he took 10 minutes without jerking off. I am on birth control, but it still makes me nervous about pregnancy since I’m only 17 so ideally I’d like to keep using condoms.” Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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