1. Shaving your pubes can literally be bad for your health—unless you think herpes is fun.
According to a study published in the American Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology, 60% of women developed at least one health problem as a result of removing their public hair. Among the many problems that are directly related to shaving are razor burn, cuts, infection in the hair root, abscesses, and bacterial skin infections. Pubic hair also acts as a natural defense against sexually transmitted infections. Removing one’s natural hairy shield makes it easier to transmit molluscum contagiosum, genital warts, and herpes.
2. Pubic hair is a biological sign that you’re “open for business” and ready to fuck.
In the millions of years of human evolution, pubic hair has served as a visual identifier of sexual maturity and that a person is ready to mate. It’s almost like a sort of visual “target.” Think of it this way—you know how an airline pilot flying over Harrisburg, PA will see a giant “H” on a hill and know he’s near the Harrisburg airport? Think of pubic hair as that giant “H” signaling you where to land.
3. Think of pubic hair as a floral bouquet dipped in pheromones.
Although scientists still aren’t entirely sure why humans have pubic hair, the most popular theory is that it serves as a sort of pheromone trap to attract mates. The body’s apocrine glands release pheromones that cling to the pubic hair and increase arousal in potential mating partners.
4. Pubes prevent friction during sex.
Pubic hair acts as a cushion during vigorous intercourse that prevents chafing and skin irritation. Natural oils in pubic hair also act as a sort of lubricant during skin-on-skin contact. In other words, pube equals lube!
5. Some suggest there’s a sinister undertone of pedophilia in the whole shaved-bald movement.
As noted, pubic hair has served as a visual marker of sexual maturity among all human populations for millennia. Removing this visual marker runs the risk of sexualizing underage girls:
The complete removal of pubic hair is also removing a key marker of adult female sexuality. The result is a prepubescent-like body that is highly sexualized. Thus it is another practice that may contribute to the increasing objectification and sexualization of young girls.
6. The average American woman spends $23,000 on pubic waxing over her lifetime.
That’s right—$23,000. If you go “full bush,” that might cover your student-loan debts. Or buy you a new car. Or pay for a three-month trip around the world. Or a down payment on a house. Is following a silly trend that’s rooted in body-shaming really worth all that money?
7. The average woman spends nearly two full months during her lifetime shaving her pubes.
Experts estimate that the average woman spends 58.4 days throughout her life merely removing her pubic hair. You could learn a new language in that time. Or take a cruise around the world. Or write a novel. Or have a torrid affair with your tennis coach. But instead you spend it removing what Mother Nature gave you. Somehow that seems counterproductive.
8. The great ancient civilizations were pubophobic.
The ancient Egyptians, Greeks, and Romans all agreed that pubic hair was disgusting. You know what they also agreed about? That slavery was good! Quit aping the ancient, outmoded thought processes of those on the wrong side of history and put that razor down! Stop the body-shaming once and for all!
9. There are nearly as many “bushdos” as there are hairdos.
We’re all familiar with the “Landing Strip,” the “Hitler Mustache,” and the “Brazilian.” But there is a cornucopia of ways you can shave your vajayjay to look stylish. This chart provides a visual guide to styles such as the Rectangle Strip, Rectangle Strip, Martini Glass, Furry Lips, Bikini Trim, The Flame, Short Stamp, Bermuda Triangle, Postage Stamp, Heart, V for Vendetta, Bonsai, Round Bottom, Spider, Short Bikini, Clit Cap, Full Bush, Long Strip, Eye of the Tiger, Muffy Bottom, Mohawk, Square, Wine Cup, Champagne Glass, Japanese, Dark Forest, Untrimmed Strip, Bikini Muff, and the Foxy. Take time and experiment with styles until you find one that makes you happy.
10. It’s time for bushes to come back in fashion because they’ve been out of style for so long.
Do you really want to be associated with a trend that was launched by 90s porn? Because that’s where the modern trend of pubic shaving is rooted—in disgusting, degrading, woman-hating pornography. Until then, pubic hair was considered perfectly natural and desirable. But now, about three-quarters of women and two-thirds of men defy nature by shearing their natural curly pubic locks. That is sooooooooooo 1990s! It’s time to put down the razor, enter the new millennium, and honor your body the way that nature intended it! So hop off the Bald Train and celebrate the perfectly natural Hair Down There!