8 Women On How They Conquered The Post-Wedding Blues

Twenty20.com lucianaell
Twenty20.com lucianaell

1. HAD AN AFFAIR

“I’m not proud of this, and I swear to God if you use my real name I’ll hunt you down and kill you, but about a month after I got married I had a brief fling with a guy who lives in our neighborhood. I spent a year planning for my wedding, then it came and went in one day, and I was all, “That’s it? That’s as good as it’s going to get?” I fell into a depression not only because I knew it was all downhill from there, but also because I got smacked in the head with the idea that this is the only man I’ll ever have sex with again. I mean, you know that before you get married, but once it sinks in, it’s depressing! So I hooked up with this other guy maybe six times and then stopped because although it cured my depression, I started feeling hella guilty, which was almost worse. My husband doesn’t know and I’ll never tell him, and I’ll probably always feel at least a little guilty. And no, I won’t tell you who’s better in bed. I’ll take that secret to my grave.”

—Amy, 31

beetlejuice

2. GOT PLASTIC SURGERY

“I already knew about postpartum depression—I mean, I think everyone does—but nobody ever told me that ‘postnuptial’ depression is, like, a real thing. My wedding was great, but it was like a brief awards ceremony where you end up in prison for the rest of your life. I’m also kinda insecure, and the minute we got married I felt that since he, you know, had ‘captured’ me, he was going to go out looking for some fresh meat. So I used the money we got at our wedding and got myself a nose job. Dumbest mistake I ever made in my life. No one can even tell the difference. But in the weirdest way, I got out of the post-wedding blues the minute I was able to laugh at myself for being such an idiot that I thought a nose job would cure them!”

—Melissa, 27

beetlejuice

3. RESUMED SMOKING WEED

“I’m going to sound like such a stoner here. I smoked weed all throughout high school, college, and my first couple years in the workforce. Then I quit for the usual reasons—because it’s expensive and makes you stupid. But I got married during the holiday season last year, and I hate cold weather anyway, and so I fell into this deep emotional slump. So I called my dealer, bought a bag, and yep, sorry, but it helped. Weed feels like an electric blanket is being lit inside your body. I felt better. Probably not the answer you’re looking for, but hey…”

—April, 24

beetlejuice

4. LEARNED HOW TO BAKE

“My husband makes so much money that I don’t have to work, so I don’t! But that can get boring—I know, poor me! I grew up never knowing how to even make Ramen noodles, but to pass the days away while he was at work I found this old cake-mixing machine on eBay with all these awesome old-school utensils and I started my lazy ass baking! I got all these great old cookbooks from a thrift store and taught myself how to make German chocolate cake, red velvet cake, biscuits, corn muffins, carrot cake—you name it. But then I started eating so much of what I baked that I put on 20 pounds. Now I’m depressed about that instead. It never ends!”

—Erin, 25

beetlejuice

5. PLANNED A ‘SIX-MONTH ANNIVERSARY HONEYMOON’

“I think people go insane if they don’t have anything to look forward to, and after my wedding it felt to me like the rest of the winter feels after the Super Bowl—just one long endless dark cold patch. The problem was that I didn’t feel there was anything to look forward to. We had to go back to our jobs, keep paying off our debts, etc. NOT romantic. So I planned that at the six-month mark after our wedding, we’d take a little romantic three-day vacation to the coast. And it worked! Blues begone. So now I’m planning a longer ‘honeymoon’ for our one-year anniversary.”

—Rachel, 28

beetlejuice

6. STARTED DOING A GIRLS’ NIGHT OUT

“This is going to sound kind of stupid, but the worst thing about getting married is that you aren’t, you know…single anymore? LOL! And I knew that I’d miss some of the things about single life, like hanging out with my girls. So once every two weeks, me and my best girlfriends—most of them were maids of honor at my wedding—get dressed up and go out to get trashed. Guys will hit on us, and I find it very flattering, and because I don’t let it get any further than that, it’s not really cheating, right?”

—Kim, 33

beetlejuice

7. STARTED WORKING ON A FRIEND’S WEDDING

“I got so wrapped up in planning my wedding that when it happened, it felt like when you’ve been roller skating all day, then take your skates off, and it still feels like you’re skating. I just felt kind of empty and spinning my wheels, which surprised me because I thought it would be like one of those Disney movies and we’d live happily ever after. Nope. Lucky for me, one of my best friends got engaged about a month after I got married, and she’s shaping up to be even more of a Bridezilla than I was, so I’m keeping myself occupied by helping to plan her wedding.”

—Lauren, 28

beetlejuice

8. STARTED PLANNING FOR A BABY

“Yeah, I was sad after the wedding because you naturally lose all the excitement of taking that step once you’ve actually taken it. Quickly enough, though—about three months after we got married—I learned that I was pregnant. My excitement over that has pulled me out of my funk and has me looking forward to the future again.”

—Megan, 27 Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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