A terrifying epidemic is sweeping across the country, affecting males primarily in their twenties and thirties. Due to the massive popularity of dating apps, men are communicating with more women than ever before. Unfortunately, they have been facing a staggering amount of rejection. This leaves their egos in critical condition, causing them to contract the disease MBB (Men Being Butthurt). Because most men are willing to copulate with any female who is not hideously deformed (and some who are), women receive much less rejection. Many women have also had to overcome major struggles that toughen up their personalities. This combination renders females immune to the disease.
Dating apps allow men to contact dozens, if not hundreds, of women on a daily basis. Unless the male resembles a ridiculously handsome celebrity, the majority of these messages go unanswered. Even worse, sometimes the female has the audacity to respond and express their lack of interest. The more a man is rejected, the higher the chance of them becoming Butthurt. Brad Davidson is just one of many who have been struck by the disease. Shaking his head in despair, he says, “I don’t understand what’s happening. I’m following the standard dating app protocol: I begin with a misspelled and grammatically incorrect message showing my appreciation of the female’s physical attributes. I then write a detailed and pornographic message that expresses my desire to have sexual relations with her. After sending a nude photograph of myself, I end with a request to receive a naked picture in return. But somehow, I’m not getting any responses! And if I do get a response, the woman declines my generous invitation. What am I doing wrong?!”
Dr. Justin Taylor, an emergency room doctor in Los Angeles, states, “More men are checking into the ER than ever before complaining of seriously bruised egos. Throughout history, the male population has been known to have a dangerously fragile sense of self and become Butthurt over extremely minor events. Rejection on dating apps is amplifying the situation, leaving them with critical cases of MBB.” Symptoms of MBB include extreme sensitivity, whining, complaining and making disparaging comments about women in an effort to make them feel better about themselves. Those afflicted with the disease tend to become rude and misogynistic characters who no woman in her right mind would have the slightest interest in dating.
Until a cure for MBB is discovered, men are encouraged to be on high alert. Sadly, past evidence of male behavior, shows that it will most likely take many years before a solution has been found. This reporter suggests that men grow up and stop acting like wussy little children. Women have been dealing with terrible situations all of their lives, but you don’t see them becoming Butthurt so easily. Perhaps these men should try a more polite and gentlemanly approach to dating. Reading the female’s profile and then asking her a question about herself is a good start. Proper spelling and grammar have also been known to work wonders. And men – please refrain from sending those inappropriate pics. Nobody wants to see that.