10 Ways To Unf*ck Yourself

Utomo Hendra Saputra
Utomo Hendra Saputra

I know we get “stuck” in life or find ourselves in situations that feel like a replay of Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. An everlasting hamster wheel of negativity we just can’t seem to stop running on. Maybe you even find yourself swiping through your Facebook memories wondering where that happy go luckily full of life person went. Oh, just me?…. I think not!

Life can throw us for a rollercoaster ride and it’s completely ok to not always be ok at times but we must remember that the only control we have is our reactions not others actions or lack there of.

I can’t even begin to express how much I get in my own way. I am absolutely ridiculous at times and oh sweet baby Jesus can I take hot mess to a whole other level. I am my own worst critic and continue to fight an internal battle not seen from the outside world. Half the time I swear I go down in a fiery defeat of failure as I beat the sh*t out of myself every step of the way.

This feeling of stuckness has a lot to do with the lack of balance in our lives.

I know what you’re thinking. “Balance?! You can’t be serious, yeah I’ll get right on that as soon as I get all this sh*t done! Do you NOT see my full plate?!”  I feel ya! Those were my exact words to my therapist when I began seeing her. It’s a relentless wrestling match of too much to do and not enough time; something I believe we all have in common.

We attempt to squeeze everything in and then say we don’t have time for “me time.” When “me time” should be the very first thing on our to To-Do list. The very first safety precaution on an airplane is to put YOUR oxygen mask on FIRST even before your children’s. Let that sink in!

YOU making YOUR mental and physical health a priority isn’t a leisure, it’s a must!

Personally in order for me to recharge I need a great deal of “me time” and consistently; but I have found a few tricks that help me get out of my funk, even if its just for that immediate moment. It’s a slice of happiness I created while swirling around in my sh*t storm from hell.

1. Take 2 minutes to just breathe.

While grabbing a cup of coffee, walking to your next appointment or hell walking into the grocery store just be OUTSIDE and breathe. Focus only on your breath. We tend to think meditation has to be in a field on a blanket in our best Buddha pose. FALSE. We can meditate in seconds with just a few breaths. Repeat after me: Breathe In… Breathe Out…. Breathe In… Breathe Out…. 

2. The dishes can wait!

Turn up your favorite song, grab that spatula (mic) and get your own rock concert on!! Hell turn up your fav song while driving to work!! Let em’ watch in awe. Sing loud and proud baby!! Get that happiness mojo moving.

3. Call or text a friend.

We all have that one friend or some of us are lucking to have a few that we can call up or text and just let it all out without the concern of being judged! I mean everything just let it rip! Not that another can solve our issue at hand but they can always help give an outside perspective if asked. We are never alone and sometimes having that re-enforced means more than any dictionary full of words can describe.

4. Written puking.

Similar to verbal puking but instead no one but you sees it. Write it all down even if it doesn’t make sense, get it out. Then rip it to pieces or burn it. I can’t tell you the amount of ash I’ve had from burned written puke sessions.

5. Go out with a few close friends.

Maybe dinner, a movie, grab a drink or sweet tea at sunset. But GET OUT and out of your head. Having friends around that can take your mind off of the current stress can help and maybe even cure once you start sharing and realize they too have been through it. We are all connected so use those connections and surround yourself with the people you love and love you unconditionally.

6. Go for a run, jog, hell a walk or to the gym.

Do an extra rep or another 20 minutes of cardio. Get those endorphins up and energized. They are like your own personal kick-ass happy warriors ready to battle the darkness!

7. Color in a Mandala book or do an artsy craft you like.

I must say I LOVE my coloring books, even have a swear word one! Amazon is my go to for my meditation coloring books.  I do a little at a time. Might only be 10-20 minutes but I put on my fav country music station and just color.

8. I find ONE thing I am either grateful for or a positive I can take away from the moment.

If I am in a horrible mood resulting from an uneasy situation, let me tell you that can be the biggest chore of it all! You see many times its not our situation that faults us; its our thoughts about the situation that hinders our joy. I know you’re like, “Listen I don’t do that Kumbaya bullsh*t!” I know but I promise it works every time! Don’t knock it till ya try it! So pick one; gratitude or positive.

9. SMILE!

Ok in all seriousness I know this is corny as f*ck and feels beyond fake but do it! Smile by yourself in all your misery until you sense it tingle throughout your body. It sends communications to your brain that evoke those little happy feel good sensations and puts those bad boys to work! Its a scientific proven effect, I swear! I am not making this sh*t up, I would love to take credit and totally act like a badass but I can’t. It was one of the many homework assignments from my therapist. And I still use it!

10. Help someone else out.

Do something for someone else!! It works every time. Big or small; just do it selflessly. Whether you see someone on the side of the road in need and stop or send a friend a Thank You card and list what you are grateful for, give a friend a gift or token of appreciation, help your Mom or Dad with an extra chore, take your kids for ice cream just because, pay for the guy behind you at the coffee shop, send your old clothes or donations to a charity just starting out, let the person behind you in front of you inline at the supermarket no matter the amount in their cart. Just DO something for someone else WITHOUT expectations of a return gesture. Pay It Forward!

One of the biggest attributes to being in your funk is the absence of positive emotion. The feeling of nothing or emptiness can be curved when adding a daily dose of positivity by doing something for someone else. To be of service to another is in turn to be of service to your true self and makes you feel all gushy inside. I have found that a kind gesture for a complete stranger or my time given as a contribution to a cause I believe in makes the biggest impact on my current mindset and sometimes is the very thing I need to unf*ck myself.

Making this a daily practice is important to maintain the flow of positive emotions.

Believe me, this is something I struggle with constantly! Many of us tend to seclude ourselves like hermits when we become overwhelmed with life and that’s ok for a short period of time. There are even times where I just have to accept this this is where I am and it’s a process I must go through to get to to the next version of myself and that’s ok too! Just keep it moving with as much positive ACTION as you can.

I am not saying these are the only things that are productive, these are just a few that are successful for me. What works for me may not work for you and that is alright. This isn’t about mimicking another’s technique. It’s about finding your own groove so you can improve YOUR world because let’s face it we can’t change the world until we change ours first!!

Emotions are like ocean waves, they come and go. And just like the ocean we have no control over the current. I can remember quite a few obstacles in life I thought I’d never make it through yet here I am; still standing and so are YOU! Don’t forget that!!

“These mountains you are carrying; you were only supposed to climb”-Naiwa Zebian  TC mark

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