Throughout the last 7 months, I told myself I was going to wait for someone who meant everything in the world to me. Someone I probably would have done anything for. 7 months ago, we ended it. And I waited. For what, I’m not sure of. I knew we weren’t going to get back together, whether it be now, or in the the near future. I knew there were no plans for me in his life, and I knew that I probably wouldn’t have time for him because of all the activities I started immersing myself in. But… for some reason I thought that I could both wait for him, and try to find and build myself along the way.
But here’s the thing: you can’t drag something that belongs in the past with you into the future. You just can’t. Waiting for someone means that you’re willing to sacrifice self-growth by keeping yourself the same person that they loved, so that when they come back, they’ll love you just the same. Waiting for someone means that you’re willing to let opportunities and great chances pass you by for a person that probably isn’t thinking about you as much as you’re thinking about them. Waiting for someone means that you’re willing to waste your time away on someone who left you – left you for a reason, and most likely isn’t going to come back.
What’s funny is that we truly believe that they’re coming back in due time, and all we really need to do is focus on ourselves and who we want to be in the meantime. But how can we focus on ourselves when most of your thoughts are still focused on one person? How can we improve ourselves if we’re not willing to let go of the person we were in the past? The person anchored down by the one who left us?
We want self-growth. We want to focus on ourselves and become better people, but that’s not gonna happen if we keep holding onto the past. The you in the past should belong just there, in the past, along with the people and memories in it. You can’t change what happened, and you can’t force someone to come back into your life if they don’t want to be there – but you can change your future and who you are… If you just let go of the past.
The things that anchor us down and don’t allow us to progress as human beings are the memories in the past that we don’t allow ourselves to let go of. Sometimes… there are things we just can’t change. Just because he was the most important person to me in the world at the time, doesn’t mean he is now. Doesn’t mean I mean anything to him now either.
And holding onto what we once were – wishing and hoping that he’d come back and set the pieces back in place as they were before – is only damaging to myself and the people I surround myself with. We can’t grow if we sulk and wait around for someone to set our life right, to make things go back to normal. Sometimes, all we need to do is let go. Let go and create a life for ourselves.
Letting go is an art that we’ve all yet to master, and as much pain and heartache letting go of someone may be, sometimes it’s for the better. Because that allows us to focus on something other than the past. Allows us to move forward and do something else with our lives. Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting the person in any way. There’s no way you can forget someone who has impacted your life and your heart so hard. But it does mean allowing yourself to be content with the fact that they’re gone, and they’re not coming back.
It means that you’re not going to let yourself wait for someone whose long gone from your life. It means you’ll allow yourself to go with the flow and take whatever life throws at you. It means moving forward with your life. And moving forward with your life sounds sweeter than staying in the past, waiting for someone you don’t even know is coming back.