I’m not sure I’d want to be labeled a MILF, but I appreciate the concept of being desired and accepted. Yes, I’m a mom and a single, adult woman. I like sex and wine and a perfect steak. Sometimes I like to run. I’m also a working professional. However, being a mom has contributed most to developing the sexiest parts of my single self. Along the way, I’ve gotten to know enough other moms to offer a bit of advice on why dating a single/divorced mom could lead to your best relationship ever – plus, a few tips on how to make it even hotter.
1. There’s no time or purpose for relationship games.
A single mom spends her time earning money and taking care of people. Her life focuses on making sure everyone has what is needed, before it’s needed. She doesn’t have time to play games with you about whose turn it is to call, or pout at you. She’s perfectly capable of taking care of everything in the relationship, but that’s exhausting on top of all her other responsibilities. She’s probably dreaming of a man who won’t let her do it all.
TIP + REWARD: Take the initiative. Make the first contact. Don’t make her guess about whether you want to see her, or when you’ll be together next. Help to plan dates. If you screw up, own it, apologize, and offer a solution. She’s a natural caregiver, but you have to earn your place in her life. Relieve her of typical dating frustrations and she’ll focus on showering you with the love and attention she gives to the other VIPs in her life.
2. When marriage leads to babies and (not much) vanilla sex, being single again is sexually liberating.
Long-term relationships and marriage sometimes lead to routine and boredom. Lack of communication is also a major contributor to broken relationships. You can bet that any failed marriage probably had some failure in the bedroom too. If she didn’t feel loved by her previous partner, he didn’t ask her what she liked in a way that made her feel safe and supported sexually, then she’ll be expecting better from her next serious relationship. You have a huge opportunity for a LOT of fun as her next partner.
TIP + REWARD: Ask about her sexual fantasies. She’s probably more willing now to talk about and act on fantasies she didn’t get to in her previous relationship. If she’s been dating for a while, she may have already explored a few! Continue to encourage her to speak up about what she likes and it’s unlikely you’ll ever be bored in the bedroom, or outside, or wherever your fantasies lead!
3. Biological clocks don’t matter anymore.
Don’t you hate when you start dating a girl and she immediately fast-forwards to marriage and babies? Not a problem with a single/divorced mom who already knows the wonderful challenge kids can be. What single moms want is a confident guy and great sex that does NOT lead to a baby.
TIP + REWARD: Some single or divorced moms would love to meet a new partner and continue to grow their family, but it’s not for everyone. She might offer to introduce you to her kids, you may never meet them, or it may not happen for a very long time. Find out whether your needs and expectations match about raising a family. Finally, you can enjoy a relationship that isn’t based on a ticking clock.
4. Single moms have developed desirable qualities of successful women.
She’s ambitious, able to manage multiple tasks simultaneously, is both routine-driven and able to adapt to the unexpected. She is able to balance earning a living with being available to her family. This is a woman who has risked her own life one time (or more) for the life of a complete stranger. She volunteers her time and attention in a variety of capacities, and consistently accepts new responsibilities with little to no training. She’s incredibly loyal, even when faced with personal loss or heartache.
TIP + REWARD: She doesn’t need you to take care of her or her kids and it’s unlikely she’d let you try anyhow. What she needs is a man who shows equal abilities on other fronts. Show her your own strengths and how you can contribute in your own unique way to a balanced partnership.
Why could dating a mom be your hottest relationship ever? Single/divorced moms are direct when dating, sexually adventurous, have well-developed life skills, and aren’t forcing a biological timeline. Go find her before someone else reads this and finds her first.