I’m Not Easily Offended, But Here Are 7 Things That Pissed Me Off In 2016

“Offended? Me? No way.”

While you may have heard me say this in the past, you surely didn’t meet me once 2016 started. As someone who has been widely regarded as being hard to offend, this year really got the best of me in terms of being both speechless and offended by most of what I saw and heard.

If I had to boil down the things that made me clutch my pearls and wipe my brow, I would have to pinpoint our current president-elect as the main culprit of my dismay, followed shortly thereafter by his loyal supporters. Please allow me to lay out the distinct points of this year that truly offended me in every human way…

1. Grab them by the pussy

I could have gone my entire life without ever having to hear those words spoken by any man, let alone the man who would eventually, unfortunately, be leading our country straight into the depths of hell. If those words don’t make you cringe into the deepest parts of yourself, then perhaps those words being chanted over and over by gaggles of red-hat wearing men and women country-wide would.

2. Red hats in general

I have never truly been offended by a piece of clothing or an accessory. I have scoffed at drop-crotch pants, wedge sneakers, and most neon pieces, but I have never felt a physical reaction to a mass-produced garment. That was until frat boys, middle-aged men, and women filled with self-hatred started donning the bright red “Make America Great Again” hats. Thanks to president-elect Trump and his worshipers, I now feel uncomfortable, unsafe, and unimpressed whenever I see a red hat.

3. Kellyanne Conway

When I think of an average 49-year-old woman from Jersey, I don’t usually associate her with white supremacy or mental health issues; I’m usually leaning more towards fake breasts, self-tans, and acrylic nails. That was until my world was rocked by the bag of empty air known as Kellyanne Conway. I won’t say that Ms. Conway hasn’t hopped hurdles as a woman – she was the campaign manager for the man who won the presidency. I can say, however, that I can’t wrap my mind around how she sleeps at night knowing that the man who she helped get into the Oval Office has zero respect for oh, I don’t know, 75% of the American people. I will never look at scarecrows the same way again.

4. The color orange

Listen, I will be the first one to admit that I used to watch Celebrity Apprentice. I used to have a nice laugh whenever Trump would get into spats with Gary Busey and I definitely recall Marlee Matlin getting a couple of hits in while she was on the show. But that’s the end of it. I have never found Mr. President-elect to be funny in any other platform of entertainment – including his campaign. I have also never seen someone, even Snooki from Jersey Shore, carry such a heavy orange tan. While it may have been funny in the past to make fun of the old white guy with the spray tan, it became all too real when we had to acknowledge that old white guy with the spray tan as our next president. I now cringe at the color orange.

5. Twitter

I have been tweeting since late 2009 – before most of my friends and many celebrities jumped on the bandwagon. As the years passed, of course many online trolls found that twitter is a great platform for releasing hatred, threats, and awful memes. Social media is always and will always be the place for behind-the-keyboard gangsters to feel like they have a voice. In 2016, after seven blissful years of tweeting, I experienced these online trolls firsthand after one of my anti-Trump tweets went kind of viral during a debate. Not only did I receive tweets from strangers calling me a “retarded millennial”, I also received a photoshopped image of Hillary Clinton’s face replaced with a penis. So, while Twitter itself wasn’t the issue, those little egg head icons that lay deep in the depths of their platform managed to offend me. I still have a hard time un-seeing Penis Clinton.

6. Ivanka Trump

To be the daughter of a monster is a really shitty hand to be dealt; I know this, and I can assume that Ivanka knows this as well. Unlike Ivanka, I wasn’t born into excessive wealth with a pretty golden spoon sitting on an executive chair in Trump Tower… but we still have to bear the same burden – shitty fathers. Before the election, I really enjoyed looking at Ivanka’s website and Instagram and even considered buying one of her overpriced handbags. During the primaries, I still looked at her Instagram because I enjoyed the inspiring quotes she would post. Then the primaries ended and so did my love affair with Ivanka’s online presence. As a woman who presents herself and her brand as being very feminist-inspired, she sure as hell doesn’t seem to mind the things that her father says and does. It’s okay to be offended by someone we love and call them out on it… unless of course we agree with everything they say and do.

7. America

This country is bullshit and I will be the first one to say it. We have racist maniacs running wild, trigger-happy police officers in every major city and most small towns, a massive drug problem, even bigger gun control problems, pharmaceutical companies doping us up and taking our money, and a whole flock of flyover states eager to see a phony businessman turned reality star running our country. We set fire to our “values” this year and spit in the face of those who were hopeful for their futures. White America mocked the Black Lives Matter movement, praised men like Steve Bannon, took women’s reproductive rights away in Ohio, and continuously pointed the finger at everyone else instead of taking credit for their own shit. I’m white, I’m American, and I’m offended.

I would give a closing statement about having hope for 2017, but that would be a lie… and, while I’ve recently started to become offended, I haven’t started lying. This year took David Bowie, Prince, Alan Rickman, and over sixty years of social progression. That shit offends me.