It’s been a long road that I have traveled since I lost my first love, but let me tell you I can remember it like it was yesterday. It wasn’t that mediocre love. It was fireworks, it was chemistry, it was art; the most beautiful and the most ugly thing you could witness. It was young, it was immature, but it was pure.
To move forward after something like that, to start over, to grow is a hard lesson to live but it happens to all of us and we strive. We learn and we teach ourselves not to take people for granted. If you’re lucky you will learn from your actions, the patterns that you make while you’re dumb and blind and hopeless; living for another person.
You’re first love is never smart. You forget yourself and end up living for another being. Forfeiting your beliefs, your morals, your standards; but its beautiful. Love is beautiful. Heartbreak is the best growing mechanism I have found.
I have learned that not all love is the same. Some love is selfish and some love is selfless, but you need to be content with yourself to find that happy medium and grow with another human. Sometimes you will feel so down and out looking for that feeling that someone first gave you, and other times you’ll feel so content and so happy that you think this road is the right one to take.
But more often that not you will find doubt, the doubt you never had with your true love and it will make you pack up your bags and move on, and learn another lesson to add to your book of secrets.
Love is a funny thing, but it is also so beautiful. Right now I’m in the middle, searching for something I lost and looking for something I have not found, but I’m content in the fact that I am learning more about myself each day more than I ever had time to when I was tied up in another human being.