1. That sudden urge to pee right after you paint your nails. WHY?!
2. When you have the worst itch ever on your eye, so you rub the hell out of it, only to remember you put eyeliner on today and your face is now f*cked..
3. No matter how hard you try to plan your vacations around your periods, you ALWAYS have it while on vacation. FML
4. You give yourself an extra 30 minutes to get ready so you’re not late, but you still end up being 30 minutes late.
5. Long drives= at least 3 or more pit stops to pee. Men hate long rides with you.
6. Your hair always looks amazing the morning of your new hair cut and color appointment, leaving you to ask yourself if you should still get it done or not.
7. It always rains on the day you leave the hair salon. You leave in a shower cap. Are you 80? Ew.
8. You always get stuck next to the biggest weirdo on the plane. You never get that hot guy next to you on the plane. #serialkillersonly
9. You always have at least one item to return in your car. Impulse buying= constant returns. The store manager hates you.
10. Deciding where to eat is more complex than designing a time machine.
11. As soon as you tell the waiter/waitress what you want to eat, you think in your head how you regret not ordering something else. You dwell on this your entire time at the restaurant. You can’t get over it.
12. You complain that you’re fat, yet you eat pizza and ice cream basically every day.
13. Watching a movie you’ve already seen with someone that hasn’t seen it. You narrate the whole time. “OMG watch this part. Do you get it? Make sure you pay attention here…” We are so annoying to watch movies with.
14. We say we don’t care about Valentine’s Day, but we will start the biggest fight if we don’t get chocolate on Valentine’s Day.
15. The whole, “I’m Fine” thing. We say we are fine, but deep down we want to beat you over the head with a broomstick. Closet raging b*tch syndrome.
16. We love to ask for advice but then do the complete opposite of that.