Here’s Why Being Pretty Sucks

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I know, you already think I’m a conceited bitch. But wait. I promise I am not full of myself and I actually really hate being attractive. Here are a few reasons why being pretty totally sucks:

1. You’re not allowed to admit that you’re pretty.

I’m so sick of having to be so damn humble and modest all of the time. I have to constantly play stupid when people tell me I’m attractive. “Nosa, no way, not me!” Blah Blah Blah. If I was ever to simply say, “Thank you,” people would look at me like, “Oh, so you think you’re really pretty, huh?” and hate me for it.

2. You have to under-dress to un-impress.

This sucks ass. I have to make sure I don’t look “too good” or “too sexy” because then people will think that I’m seeking attention. Oh, and if I’m about to see my creepy brother-in-law, I HAVE to make sure I am fully covered from head to toe. If not, my sister will treat me like shit that day and make me feel so awkward. I have to buy certain bathing suits that make me look like I’m a 26-year-old in a grandmother’s swimsuit just to please certain people and make them feel better about themselves.

3. If you wear makeup you’re trying too hard.

Why can ugly people wear like 13 pounds of concealer but I can’t even put on tinted chapstick? Whatever, I hate putting makeup on anyway. But if I ever want to, let me live my life people! I guess I save money on those ridiculous MAC products anyway.

4. First impressions are always unfair.

People are judging you based off of your looks. Girls will treat you differently right off the bat if they feel threatened by your looks. You never know if you actually got the job because of your brain or because of your physical appearance when bending over to reach files.

5. You can’t take selfies.

If I take one selfie, I’m full of myself. Yet, everyone else on Earth can take a million selfies a day and post them everywhere. I’ve literally been told that I am seeking attention when I post a selfie, but if the person was less attractive posting a selfie, it’s acceptable. NOT FAIR.

6. You get bullied. All the time.

Yes, bullied. People like to make fun of “pretty girls” and make us out to be stupid & ditsy. Beauty and brains DO exist people. I applied for a job at an attorney’s office recently. The woman working was in her late 50’s and extremely unattractive (no offense). I asked if she was hiring an assistant and she said, “Yes, but I need to have more than just a pretty face in here.” It was extremely disrespectful and so unfair of her to judge me. This was an act of bullying. I am also always being picked on. People think that because a person is pretty that they have thick skin and shouldn’t take offense to any criticism. Again, UNFAIR. Pretty people have feelings too. Stop the bullying.

Always remember: A woman does not have to be modest in order to be respected.