8 Ways I Broke The Rules Of Modern Dating (Because They’re Unrealistic And Don’t Apply To Everyone)

Marija Mandić
Marija Mandić

I tried to play that game. I really did. But, I guess living honestly is the wrong way to go. Here are 8 ways I broke the unrealistic dating rules of today’s singles:

1. I always approached guys I was interested in.

I never waited for guys to come up to me, or even my friends for that matter. If someone thought those brown-haired, blue eyed Greek gods from across the room were sexy, I’d go get them and bring them over. If I liked the shy guy sitting at the bar, I’d plop down next to him and say it looked like he needed company. If men approached me, awesome! (I must be looking good tonight) But, it never made sense to me to wait around for things to happen. On the slightest chance that I did that, I’d always go home regretting not buying him a drink or thinking Ugh. Why didn’t I just go say hi!

2. I respond to text messages and send them as well.

The whole text message thing is where I fail every time. I grew up in a society that values technology so much and now, all the sudden, I have to turn off the addiction to my phone and play waiting games so I don’t seem too interested? Nah, forget that. I like him. I’m going to text him. If he responds, cool. If he doesn’t, he’s either busy or not interested. And if we are dating, he doesn’t respond, and my automatic response is bombard him with more texts, then there are bigger problems in the relationship than sticking to the damn rules.

3. Playing hard to get shouldn’t be about text messages and response time.

Playing hard to get is what you do at a bar to make him chase you when you first meet. This generation doesn’t understand that you have to stop playing hard to get at some point. And news flash: if you already slept together, you aren’t playing anymore, he’s got you. This part of the game is too fun for me. I refuse to become a mute instead. I’d rather send a text with playful, flirtatious banter that makes him intrigued than silence myself for fifteen minutes because he might think I’m interested.

4. I slept with people too quickly.

Well, I guess I always did this rule kind of right since in today’s world, sleeping together/hooking up is like what it’s all about. Whatever, I just enjoy sex and being intimate. Sometimes I regretted my actions because of how things ended up after and other times, I gave myself a high five (that’s pretty much the definition of life anyway). I guess in this point I will just mention that once you sleep with a person, the game changes and you have to realize that you may have taken yourself out it with this particular individual.

5. I share my feelings.

Yup, I actually share how I feel because I am a human being who has emotions. I never beat around the bush with this. If I’m into you, you’ll know. You will always know where I stand, what my intentions are and how I feel about you or the situation. I’m honest and I honestly don’t care. Take or leave it. I don’t have time to deny all my feelings and also be in denial about yours.

6. I gave ultimatums.

Frankly, I did it because I was tired of it being casual without some definition. There have been times where I could do the casual thing. Where I had to be honest with the other person and say it was just sex for me. But for a majority of the time, I would hit a point where I either wanted more or realized it needed to stop. And I would say that. Out loud. For him to hear. A lot of the time, I was heart broken, but every once in a while, there would be an opportunity to give it a shot. Really, that’s all I was asking for, just a chance to see if this could be something more and I accepted the risk that came along with that.

7. I stopped letting the names I was called determine my dating style.

Caring about people is not a weakness. Having feelings doesn’t make me overemotional. Wanting a relationship doesn’t make me crazy. Believing that this might be something great and working toward that, doesn’t mean I am delusional. I have ideas, thoughts and feelings. I share them. If another human cannot respect or understand that, then they kick rocks. That right there, ladies and gents, is a huge waste of time.

8. I actually believe in romance.

The biggest rule breaker of them all. I believe that two people who are genuinely interested in one another should sweep each other off their feet. I don’t believe chivalry is dead, but I do think women need to step up their game. Two people BOTH have to put in effort and pursue the things they want in life, including love and relationships. It can’t be all on the guy to make things happen. Appreciate it when a man does something thoughtful and loving, but if you want to go see a movie one night, buy the tickets yourself and surprise him for a change. Remember, you get what you give. And the dating rules today don’t give you anything. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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