Being in your 20’s means it’s open season for engagement and you’ve probably noticed that a freaky amount of your friends are taking the marital plunge. And here you sit, by yourself trying to figure out you’re going to afford attending all those weddings. Here are some thoughts you probably experience if you feel like everywhere you look you see princess cut diamonds and engagement announcements:
1. Really? Another couple engaged?
What does this make? Four couples that have gotten engaged just this week alone! It wasn’t enough that you were both in a relationship but now you’re just rubbing it in my face with a shiny little ring.
2. I mean…REALLY?
Maybe I’m misunderstanding the photo. Maybe it’s just a promise ring? There is no way they’re really engaged. No, just no. This is ridiculous.
3. Hmm, how long have they been together again?
Five months!? They’ve only been together five months? I’ve been in a relationship with my car longer than that. Engaged at five months is like going on a road trip with a stranger except the road trip is forever. This is an overdue April fool’s joke, right?
4. Well that escalated quickly.
So this is not a joke but it’s kind of hilarious. I cannot and will not take this seriously.
5. Where are these people’s parents?
I mean married after only a few months at 20 years old when you both have student loans and only one of you has a job? Aren’t parents supposed to keep their kids from making rash decisions?
6. They’re never going to last.
This is like the marital version of the three little pigs. They’re building their life out of straw with no foundation and it will not last. Good luck on your failure there folks.
7. Geez, I really hope they thought this through.
Maybe I’m being too judgmental. They might have a great reason for rushing things. Or maybe it just seems like rushing from the outside and their relationship is actually rock solid. I am sure they thought this through.
8. Deep down I really do hope they last forever.
I’m shutting down the negativity and crossing my fingers that they last forever. I really do hope this ends well for them. They really are a cute couple.
9. I better be invited to the wedding.
I’m not sure if I one hundred percent support this next step but I better be there to witness it. I’m going to message the bride right now and pressure my way onto that guest list.
10. Maybe I should get them marital counseling as a gift.
Just kidding. I’ll get them a gift that can easily be divided in the imminent divorce. Perhaps a set of throw pillows?
11. I wonder who will be next.
Which couple do I predict will take the plunge next? Maybe Mary and Dave from high school? Or it could be Lilly and Nick? Or what if…it’s me.
12. I really hope I don’t die alone.
Why is everyone but me in these awesome lifelong relationships? Is there some secret I’m missing or am I just destined to be alone forever? *insert ugly cry*
13. Maybe I will get introduced to someone awesome at their wedding.
Weddings are like matchmaking heaven. There are probably a bunch of singles that will be there. Maybe I will meet “the one” there. And if not at least there’s an open bar.
14. I’m just going to stay off social media for a bit.
This was so stressful. I think I should just stay away from social media for a few hours and let the news sink in before anything else happens. I’m logging off right…about…
15. HOLD UP. Did Mike just propose to Hannah?
And another bites the dust.