Everyone knows that beginning stage of a relationship, commonly referred to as the “honeymoon phase.” During this phase you automatically annoy everyone around you with your googly eyes and nonstop banter about your beau. Nothing else in the world exists except you and this other person. They become a part of you. But what happens when the excitement fades? When reality sets in? How do you tell the difference between the end of love at first sight versus simply not meant to be?
1. Communication runs dry. Communication is at the very heart of every relationship. When you first meet someone new, the connection is the most exciting part — someone you can talk and share things with, and they actually care what you have to say. You can talk to them about everything and nothing, of every minute, of every waking hour, and never get enough. Texts throughout the day, late night phone calls, dates where you are fascinated to just listen to this other person speak. Then, it stops. All of a sudden you find yourself sitting on the phone in silence with this person wondering what to say. You scramble to figure out a question to ask, a topic to discuss, but his replies are short, uninterested. This person you once thought was your best friend starts to feel like a stranger.
2. Physical Intimacy Fades. When physical intimacy goes, the relationship goes. A relationship thrives on a healthy sexual appetite between both partners. When one or both of their drives is missing, the relationship is doomed. Not being attended to in an affectionate way leaves one partner feeling rejected, lonely, and frustrated. This leads to resentment. Resentment leads to fighting, and although we like to think that fighting would lead to mind-blowing make-up sex, if you’re relationship is in shambles due to lack of intimacy, it’s highly doubtful make-up sex is going to occur. Cuddling and holding hands is not going to keep the boat rocking. And sooner or later one of you will be so starved of physical attention, well, I’m sure you can figure out the rest.
3. Everything Becomes Annoying. Being in a relationship, no one understands why you like the things you do about this other person. Things that seem to trivial, so minute, you absolutely adore. He loves sports, going to football games, going out with his buddies. And likewise, you once thought his sports obsession was cute. You supported him and his hobbies. You enjoyed going out with him and his buddies even if you were the only girl. You didn’t mind that he never folded his laundry or spilt all over himself every time he ate. If, after any amount of time, you find yourself grumbling, scowling, and absolutely loathing all of the things you once thought you loved about this person, it’s probably time to end things before you end up murdering the guy and hiding all the evidence.
4. You Make Excuses. Excuses are monuments of inadequacy. If you are making them, you need to question why. If you know your guy isn’t stepping up to par, but you continue to defend his behaviors to those around you, it might be time to second guess your decisions. Not everyone is perfect, why when you continue to make excuses for someone when you know you deserve better, what are you waiting for. If he’s too tired, too stressed, too overwhelmed to be a good boyfriend, then you are too busy for his bullshit.