When You Find That You Are Holding Onto The Things That Keep You Feeling Stuck

Sergei Zolkin
Sergei Zolkin

mostly, i’m still learning how to let go.

the things we hold on to are different for all of us–some act as anchors heavily weighing us down; while others, like lifeboats, keep us above water. i’ve also come to realize that some things are much more difficult to let go of because the experience has in fact changed one’s biological functioning–like trauma, poverty, or abuse/neglect.

and in the years i’ve had, i’ve learned that we keep so many things close to our heart, however, i’m also learning that not all of it needs to stay.

what i know is that there are some things that it is time to let go of.

it might be stress or automatic assumptions that do not accurately reflect your abilities. it might be the mistakes you made when you lost yourself or the half-hearted attempts you’ve made in trying to figure out the person to become. the classes you dropped and the goals you gave up on. the divorce you went through or decisions that have left you with regret and unhappiness. it might be the comparisons you make when you are surrounded by colleagues, peers, family, friends, or strangers, or perhaps the harsh judgements made towards yourself or others. the relationships that broke your heart, the tears that were never wiped away, and promises that were left unkept.

maybe it’s time to let go of the friendships that didn’t grow together or the words that can’t be taken back. what i know is that diverse life experiences weigh more heavily on different people’s hearts and that it becomes easy to drown in emotions like anger, loneliness, anxiety, shame, guilt, stress, sadness, or fear. we hold on to feelings of failure or inadequacy, memories, expectations, desire, past hurts, and unmet expectations–and they keep us feeling broken.

and if you give it some thought, you might find that you are holding on to the very things that keep you stuck.

how would your life be different if you let go of them all?

take a deep breath in and become more aware of those things that weigh heavily on your heart. and maybe today is the day you slowly find the courage to surrender into accepting what is. acknowledge the past and move on. lean into your insecurities and feelings of discomfort; find your personal weaknesses and allow yourself to grow into them. mend the parts of yourself that are broken through self-love, acceptance, healthy relationships, choices that reflect your long-term goals, and commitment to change. and to do any of this–or all of it–we must learn to let go.

you let go by first recognizing what it is you are holding on to and then by deciding what kind of impact it is having on your life. you let go by releasing the negative energy from your soul. and after you decide, you must act. you begin to choose one thought over another or exchange an unhealthy decision for a healthier behavior. perhaps you release anger through forgiveness or acceptance and let go of greed, desire, and the pursuance of material possessions through contentment and non-possesion. letting go means allowing yourself the possibility of being wrong and being okay with that. and when you let go, can you hold on to that self-motivation and fearless drive while releasing the stress, judgement, and criticism that we often allow it to accompany?

letting go means beginning a search for inner-peace and deciding what moments you want to let define you. and i believe that letting go is one of the purest acts of self-love we can gift ourselves. and for me, this does not excuse our imperfections nor ignore our past mistakes or shortcomings, it does however foster our capacity to look at ourselves through a lens of compassion and grace that creates enough space to make room for change. and when we begin to let go, we also start to remember that all things are possible.

by letting go, we allow ourselves to become. TC mark

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