There’s a lot of writing on letting go of someone who broke your heart or how to get over being dumped. There is not a lot about when you are the one who broke someone else’s heart.
This is for those people. The people who cared, but also knew that it was time to go.
When you are invested in a relationship, breaking up with your significant other is almost as mentally draining as if you were the one whose heart was being ripped to pieces.
From my own experience it was so easy to get caught up in the relationship. However, when I took time for myself to address my own needs, I saw what I thought was best for both of us. And I still stand by my actions.
I think that’s what people who care too much about the other person get so caught up in. This idea that their needs aren’t important because it means changing someone else’s perception of who you are and possibly hurting that person.
I knew I was unhappy, but it took me a while to actually come to terms with it.
I kept pushing off talking about it because there was never a “good time.” There was always a friend’s birthday, their own birthday, valentines day, that pushed me to not say anything because I didn’t want to ruin an event.
This thought process eventually put me in a corner and made it difficult to escape. Eventually I did, and while I may have hurt that other person, it allowed me to grow as a person.
I saw how toxic this relationship had become, and how dependent on one another we were, and how we were treating one another, and I had enough. So I sympathize with those who break up with someone for the good of themselves and for the good of their significant other. Sometimes it is not a bad thing to take off your rose-colored glasses and see things for what they are. You may end up feeling guilty or selfish, but I promise one day this feeling will pass and you’ll see that choosing yourself was the best decision you’ve made thus far.
That person may have ended up being hurt, but they too will learn and grow from this. We all heal in different and even confusing ways. So don’t be surprised if you too feel like you’ve lost something while at the same time feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.
Allow yourself to feel the things that you’ve suppressed for so long. But also know that it is time to let go, and enjoy the lovely and harsh things that life has always had to offer.