Did you know that having a fear of being single is an actual condition? It’s called anuptaphobia. It’s what those people who go back and forth between “single,” “it’s complicated,” and “in a relationship” on Facebook have. Isn’t that cool? Now you can post this on your friend’s wall! JK.
So to all you people who are afraid of dumping your no-good girlfriend/boyfriend because you’re afraid of losing your cuddle buddy, and to all you people who just got out of relationships, are claiming your life is over and you’re going to end up alone: get over yourselves.
1. You’re not going to be bored — you will have a life.
I don’t know where you heard that all single people do is sit around playing Words with Friends while they wait for Postmates deliveries, but I’ve got news for you: single people are busy.
In fact, they’re probably busier than you were when you were shoveling Tostino’s Pizza Rolls into your ex’s mouth while you binged Law and Order every weekend.
Just think of all the free time you’ll have to do the stuff you couldn’t do when you were in a relationship, like pee with the door open and marathon the Bachelor!
2. You’re not ugly.
Oh gee, you just got dumped, and now you suddenly look like a slob. Right. Ya look the same as ya did yesterday, so stop complaining about how you think “no one will want you.”
3. You’re NOT a loser.
Being single doesn’t make you a loser! There are a lot of intelligent, law-abiding, charity donating, single people in this world who will kick your single ass if you keep calling yourself (aka, all the other single people) a loser.
4. You’re not a failure.
There’s nothing wrong with you other than the pity party you keep throwing for yourself. Not everything works out, and just because this person wasn’t your soul mate doesn’t mean you’re tainted and un-dateable.
Hasn’t your mother ever told you that if you’re dating the wrong person, you can’t find the right person? Or maybe that was Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants that said that. Same difference.
5. You WILL meet someone.
News flash! Single people are not extinct! They’re still out there making Bumble profiles and text message dumping people they’re not into, so get over it!
You WILL go on dates. According to some study made by some dude, there are 102 million single people in the world, so think about that.