I’ve realized we can talk ourselves into (and out of) anything if we try hard enough.
We can also create issues that aren’t real and stress over scenarios that haven’t happened yet. Isn’t it amazing what the mind is capable of?
I’ve noticed that we tend to overthink when it comes to our relationships.
Is this person worth our time? What if we invest all of this time into someone, only for it to not work out? What are they thinking? How do they feel? My God, the questions are endless and we’re often left without answers.
Sometimes we want something to go right so badly that we begin to think about every little thing that could go wrong instead. Feelings could change. Someone better could come along. The timing just isn’t right. And so on and so forth.
But what exactly are we doing? We say we want our relationships to work, yet mentally, we are sabotaging them with our negative thoughts. We say we want to be happy, yet we are doing everything in our power to make sure that we are not.
We fear the unknown. We fear the change that awaits us. We fear that nothing this good could actually last because up until this point, it hasn’t. We’ve lost someone before, so isn’t it a matter of time before it happens again?
This negative thinking leads us to our own demise as we create the pathway for a failed relationship. We are, in fact, ruining a good thing before it even has the chance to begin.
But that’s not what we wanted, right? We wanted the happy days. We wanted the fun adventures. We wanted the long nights, the late talks. We wanted our lives to be spent with this person next to our side, yet we think of every reason as to why it won’t happen.
And all of this thinking leads to a disconnection in the relationship.
We’re questioning our partner about their feelings. We’re doubting their sincerity. We’re paranoid and don’t trust their intentions. Our insecurities of our past begin to add unnecessary stress to our present relationship, creating issues that were never there and setting expectations that can’t always be met.
We take a relationship that is easy and care-free, and turn it into a strained relationship that is just a hassle, making us question why we even gave it a shot in the first place.
It’s true; we could be good for this other person. We could actually be the “perfect” fit for this person. But none of that will ever matter if we don’t believe in the relationship we are a part of.
We want to know that we’re making the right choice. We want to know that this is the person we’re supposed to be with. We want to know that everything will actually be okay in the end. But we’ll never know if we never try.
And we all know by now that worrying about what could go wrong, certainly won’t it go right.