Don’t Lose Yourself When You Lose Him

Twenty20, sudeshna4ya
Twenty20, sudeshna4ya

You’ve always been the person in the relationship that strived to be the best wife, husband, girlfriend, or boyfriend you could be. Your happiness only came when you were both satisfied, knowing that you were making your partner happy as well.

Your partner was your other half, and you couldn’t imagine your life, or your future, without them. When thinking about your future – career, family, goals, and everything in between, somehow they were always involved in that fantasy.

You found yourself longing to be with them when you weren’t together, and only feeling whole when you were right there with them. You wanted to do everything by their side, and the idea of being apart was too much to handle. They were your rock. Your vice. Your everything.

And there is something wrong with that.

Let’s rewind to when your relationship ended, and let’s be honest… There were plenty of reasons why that happened. Maybe you had a relationship that was too private, or maybe you had a relationship that was too public. Maybe your dependence on your partner began to chip away your energy, and you found yourself not being able to give as much as you used to. Maybe your partner was dealing with inner demons, addictions, problems, or something else that you wanted so badly to help them fix, and you realized at the end you couldn’t help them.

When you saw them struggling, or starting to pull away, your happiness started to leave as well. Or maybe it was you struggling and your partner didn’t know how to help you. Because you were so used to depending on your partner, you found yourself losing pieces of yourself when you were starting to lose pieces of them.

When you’re in that toxic of a relationship, you need to get out. Immediately. When you are no longer your own person, and when that person quickly defines who you are, that’s when it becomes a problem.

You did everything you could for that person, to the best of your ability, and it still wasn’t enough to repair the damage. Even if you had all the right intentions, things still didn’t go your way. That person may have been your forever once upon a time, but “forever” just isn’t an option anymore.

You might never regret being in that relationship. You might never regret falling in love with that person. You might never regret giving all the love you could give to that person. But you need to realize that when you’re putting your feelings, happiness, and emotions in the hands of someone else, you’re creating a problem. You’re your own person. Don’t let someone else change that.

This is for the man that helped me break my own heart. I didn’t have the courage to love you in the way either of us needed. You wouldn’t let go, and so I let go for us, for you.

And this is for the wife, husband, girlfriend, or boyfriend that hasn’t quite figured out how to move on. You can. Just make sure you know how to love yourself completely again, before allowing yourself to love another person. Let go of the past, and just be ready for what’s ahead. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

More From Thought Catalog