Should Women Be Having Casual Sex?

woman lying on pool
Max Rovensky / Unsplash

To sleep with him or her or not to sleep with him or her.

Casual Sex has been around for some time now and the controversy still follows. Many find themselves asking how can something so bad feel so good, or why do I keep doing this, am I addicted, or what was that guy’s name?

No judgement.

With a movement of kickass women braving the world, how are we still talking about whether or not we deem it appropriate to hop into the sheets with any suitor?

Even more importantly, why should you care?

Well first off, it’s none of your goddamn business.

Second, for the love of diving into a good debate, everyone should be able to do whatever they so choose with their bodies within reason/law. (Also, I apologize for the heterosexual slant, it’s my only personal experience.)

With that being said though, there are some things we need to consider. Women are emotional beings, just like men are. However, women have a few biological differences that one could say “limits” her ability to “not care.”

While the science is worth noting, we also aren’t in the Middle Ages anymore. That’s not to say that the programming isn’t still genetically coded into us, but living in the 21st century can change the way we see things.

Everyone is worried about these poor women having casual sex and getting there feelings hurt or getting “too attached.”

Why are we blaming women for their emotions?

Sex alone is a sacred, some would say spiritual, act that shouldn’t be taken lightly. Does it lose its “specialness” the more you have it?


For me, I can’t think of any casual sex that hurt me or made me feel sad or emotionally unstable. Rather, all of the relationships or “almosts” caused me more pain than any casual partner.

Also, why do we never talk about men with this discussion? While I understand men aren’t naturally permitted to be as emotional as they sometimes feel in society, I do know that overtime they can develop an emotional attachment just like any human being. It may be different from a woman’s, but it’s still a connection or general liking of their presence.

Maybe men are feeling some of what women are feeling and involuntarily suppress them to fit the pre-set mold of what a man ought to be.

Or maybe they’re right. Women are crazy and want to marry every man they have sex with. But, I don’t think that’s it.

I think I know the reason we are even having these discussions or complicated talks about sex. It’s about a lack of respect.

Not for women, although that’s an entirely different article.

But for SEX itself.

How we see the act changes the way we share it with another individual. I’m no expert, regardless of what I try to put off to partners, but sex should mean something. Even the recreational, casual sex that we share with an acquaintance.

We HAVE to admit that it means SOMETHING. No maybe not true love, but it’s a natural connection or attraction. Everyone keeps having sex and then pretending they don’t care or that it doesn’t mean anything. Suppressing even these small emotions can’t possibly be good for us.

We make sex a taboo topic that only heightens the ambiguousness and mystery that clouds the judgement and communication around the topic. I’m not saying scream it from the rooftops, but a little more openness couldn’t hurt.

We have sex and pretend it didn’t happen or pretend we don’t know or care about the person. It sounds psychotic as I write it.

Don’t humans deserve a little more than that?

Have sex with whoever whenever (with consent), and then maybe try to acknowledge that it’s happening and the emotions that come with.

We’re all so scared to feel too much or live deeply. We desensitize ourselves to so much we end up excluding others and denying who we are.

There is courage in being yourself and being open about your emotions. Yes, I know, easier said than done. But, this is essential to living a satisfying life with real meaning. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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