You would think that 2 years into this parenting game, I would be at least moderately more comfortable with kids and their various methods of grossing out civilized grown folks. You would think that only if you don’t have kids yourself. Because any parent will tell you that as they grow older, the sense of foreboding grows ever more intense – kids’ ability to uncover new and soul-numbingly disturbing ways to be disgusting gets more skilled with age. I would generously express how impressive I find it if I wasn’t otherwise occupied with all the gagging and phoning of poison control.
Today’s example of a child being full of unsanitary fuckery: this little girl playing with a dead squirrel. To be more specific, this little girl playing with a dead squirrel like it’s the most unbelievably joyful thing she’s ever done in her short life.
Did I mention that kids are not only often extra gross, but do things that make you wonder if they’re soulless monsters who delight in death and misery? Because they do be doin’ that shit like they majored in it.