Watch Jonah Hill And Maroon 5 Sing About Handjobs (And Why We Should Love Them)

Handjobs are underrated. I feel as though the men who don’t appreciate a good HJ only feel that way because they think their dicks would have more more happily engaged in other activities, but let me put this idea forth: Anyone who can’t enjoy a wide range of sexual activities, opting instead to be solely interested in their narrow set of favorites, is probably a terrible person who I don’t want to do naked shit with anyway. We all have our top picks of sex acts, but hopefully we can all strive to be the kind of go-with-it-in-the-moment person who can recognize and enjoy that sometimes your very favorite thing isn’t the correct thing for the situation. Because the thing that does suit the circumstances might be really hot if you appreciate it for what it is, instead of mentally lamenting the fact that you aren’t getting to do something else. Like, I get that blow jobs and old school peen-in-a-hole sexing are awesome, but still, it’s someone’s hand. On your penis. It feels great. Let’s not be a bitch about this.

In other words: Yes, when all sexual options are available, handjobs (to most people – I know they top some dudes’ lists) are generally not the first option folks jump to. But there are moments when a handjob is so clearly called for that you’re an offensive boner-waster if you don’t “when in Rome” that shit.

Anyway, here’s a video of Jonah Hill and Maroon 5 singing a song about hand jobs and it’s super cute. TC Mark

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