So the “poopgasm” is a thing and we’re going to talk about it.
We all have our weird things that get us off, and that’s wonderful, but poo-games have never been part of my repertoire. I once had a boyfriend ask me to pee on him, which I eventually consented to do (in the shower, because I’m a lady) and ended up giggling the entire time. I mean, I don’t know what the preferred delivery of urine onto another human in a sexual context is, but apparently laughter isn’t it. He got annoyed and asked me to stop, but like, I was midstream so fuck that. When he jumped out of the shower, I was just left standing there, peeing on my feet, nearly hysterical with the nervous laughter of a not-quite-deviant enough sexual hyena. That was more or less the end of my attempts at incorporating unconventional bodily substances into sex acts.
That said, some people are into poo games. I’m not one to cast judgment on any person’s particular set of sex stuff that gets them to their happy place. I hope we can all forever be fully embracing of whatever gets us off and ideally find lots of sexy partners who will consent to give it to us (or let us give it to them. Again, whatever tickles yr pickle.)
But, to be fair, this next bit of news isn’t just for people who are into shitty fuck times. Pretty much everyone enjoys pooping. As it turns out, you can enjoy it more than you might’ve thought.
According to Dr. Anish Sheth, a gastroenterologist from Princeton University (aka Poo Scientist) in his book – wait for it – What’s Your Poo Telling You?, if your bowel buddy is meaty enough to stretch your rectum to the extreme, it can stimulate the vagus nerve (which is a well-known path to mega coming) and boom! Buttgasm.
Dr. Sheth goes on to explain that, while it’s perfectly safe to bum-cum, you might get hooked: “The stool high is relatively safe, but can become an addiction for some.”
The stool high.
I mean, I feel like there should be more specific instructions here. Just, um, read this and go to town. (Yes, I linked to Dr. Oz to help get your brain programmed to “shit mode”. You’re welcome.)