6 Awkward (And Maybe Gay) Things About This Mormon Video Comparing Masturbation To War

“The young man is spiritually wounded on the battlefield of the Great War.” – Brigham-Young University President Kim B. Clark on jerkin’ it.

Brigham-Young University (the Mormon college) recently released a video through their Housing And Student Living Office that encourages students to not ignore each other’s sinful, life-destroying porn habits, but to regard their porn watching pals as fallen comrades who are in mortal danger on the Battlefield of Souls. It’s…confusing. And more than a little offense, both to actual soldiers and people who have a healthy, cherished relationship with porn. But mostly to soldiers because, seriously, what?

  • I know college freshmen aren’t the brightest babes in the bunch, but who jerks off with their door open? I mean, whatever you’re into is fine. But let’s not act like an open-door porn sesh is standard procedure.
  • I resent the implication that any porn consumption is unhealthy and problematic. Like, having a cigarette every once in a while when I’ve had a really bad day or am drunk doesn’t make me addicted to cigarettes. And by “cigarette”, I clearly mean “plastic body parts in hyper-unrealistic scenarios that perpetuate a degrading, misogynist mentality”. Point is: Who’s to say if that kid really had a problem? Maybe he was a recreational porn user.
  • If this kid was actually addicted to porn, his friends would either be constantly giving him shit about it, or he wouldn’t have friends at all because no one wants to hang out with a guy who smells like fresh self-sex ALL the time.
  • Sorry boutcha, World War I, but apparently “The Great War” is actually between boobies and Jesus. We probably shouldn’t have been too hasty giving you that title. Our bad.
  • They’re comparing watching porn with being brutally injured on the battlefield of war. THEY’RE COMPARING WATCHING PORN WITH BEING SHOT IN A WAR. Like, I’m all for creative license but are Jesus and the military-industrial complex total BFF? Kinda playing fast and loose with your core audience, BYU.
BYU
Hey, your O face and your dying face look the same! BYU
  • Uh, Mormons? Pretty sure your two war buddies are falling in love with their eyes at the end there. This video is lousy with (admittedly kinda hot – who doesn’t love two pasty white Mormons on the verge of discovering themselves via each other’s forbidden genitalia?) homo-erotic undertones. I smell a sequel PSA comparing falling in gay love to Chernobyl.
BYU
Hey. BYU
BYU
Oh, hey. BYU 

Right? Those are “You want it?” and “I want it” eyes if I’ve ever seen them. TC Mark

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