It’s time for the stars of Breaking Bad to move on. I’m calling it. We’re done, let’s shut it down. As a series-long, true blue (GET IT?!) fan, I feel like I’m allowed to say this. I miss the show. I miss the characters, even Walt Jr. who some of my friends thought was strangely sexy but who annoyed me. I will likely have minor, lingering cardiac problems as a result of that scene where Walt steals the baby. I’ve drunkenly spent literal multiple hours analyzing episodes of this show. I will forever have sex dreams where Walt and Mike alternately order me to say their names. The point is, I love Breaking Bad as genuinely as a person can love a TV show and still be considered healthy, and probably a bit beyond that.
That said, this video, which makes all of Breaking Bad turn out to be Malcolm In The Middle‘s Hal’s dream, confirms what I’ve feared would happen: Aaron Paul and Bryan Cranston have jumped the post-BB shark. They’re jumping the shark so hard, they’re going to get it pregnant. Aaron Paul is already raising a bunch of bastard shark-babies after jumping the shark months ago. They are officially about to be those guys who were charming and hilarious at a party all night but instead of leaving when the night was peaking, they stuck around until 3am and made sad, watered down versions of the jokes that everyone lost their shit over a few hours before to tired people who are just trying to find their coats and go home. None of us wants to move on into the rest of our hollow, post-Breaking Bad lives, but we realize we must, and it will be really sad if the stars of our beloved show are the last to let go. Awkward videos that really would need a laugh track to work at all but shouldn’t have been made in the first place are not how I want to remember these people.
Besides, this concept was infinitely better as a tweet. Loved it as a tweet. The video gives me the uncomfortable sads.
But also, I’ve been waiting forever to hear BC say Heisenberg lines in a sexual context so I approve this video anyway.