Amy Poehler Raps About Butter, Continues Being Better Than Me

If I had to single out one quality that would mark my ideal self-evolution end game, it would be to have such a thorough worldly awareness that no matter what I was talking about, or in whatever serious or lighthearted context, the tinge of social consciousness would bleed into what I was saying or writing. I would like to think that by way of compulsive consumption of news, obsessive analysis of the bigger implications of current events, and anxious examination of how all human interactions are expressions of/contributions to culturally or biologically imposed social dynamics, maybe one day I’ll get there. Maybe one day, I will have packed so much information and have belabored such contextualizing of that information, that the Knowing Shit part of my brain will overtake the Not Knowing Shit part of my brain, so then anything I say, no matter how casual or silly, will come from the Knowing Shit part of my brain, and come out coated in an effortless layer of brilliant relevance that doesn’t feel forced or pretentious.

This is the goal. Or my brain will melt.

Either way, Amy Poehler has basically already accomplished that supreme level of Generally Knowing What The Fuck Is Up where it’s no longer necessary for her to make a conscious effort to say enlightened, highly aware shit. Her awesomeness is so complexly interwoven into her existence that she literally cannot stop making insightful commentary about, say, the obesity crisis as a product of an insurmountable socio-economic gap, even when engaged in the admittedly nauseating, stupid task of rapping about butter.

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Amy recently appeared on the “Comedy Bang! Bang!” podcast, and those assholes made her rap about butter. Clearly, Amy killed it because fucking duh. Amy goes on at 4:45. I didn’t listen to the other jerks because they’re mean jerks who made Amy Poehler get the nervous pukes, but in case you want to listen to them, they are: Host Scott Aukerman, Paul F. Tompkins as Alan Thicke (the prison rape-iest Alan Thicke impersonation ever), and Neil Campbell (head writer for the Comedy Bang! Bang! TV show).