In case you missed it, and have been wondering why everyone on Twitter is making jokes about lamp inspiration (#lampspiration), Kanye just gave us so much Kanye in a new interview with the New York Times. And pretty much every single line is a goddamn gem.
Allow me to preface all of this by clarifying the intensity of my love for Kanye. He is unabashedly confident to an almost unbearable degree, which would be lame as shit if not for the fact that he really is kind of a badass genius who keeps it extra real. His arrogance isn’t so much an over-compensation for insecurities as it is a total dismissal of the socially imposed idea that you aren’t allowed to have a healthy, unapologetic awareness of how great you are.
Nonetheless, the way he articulates his greatness is so deliciously over-the-top that it makes me want to hug his head and say, “You’re right, presh’, you are like Jesus. (Please stop designing lady shoes.)”
And so, in an effort to kill time until Yeezus comes out, here are some highlights from Mr. Kardashian himself:
“When you think about it, I was wearing like, a Juicy Couture men’s polo shirt. We weren’t there, like, ready for war.” – Kanye on dressing for the occasion.
“You know, if Michael Jordan can scream at the refs, me as Kanye West, as the Michael Jordan of music, can go and say, ‘This is wrong.’” – He’s also the Michael Jackson of fashion.
“But the thing is, I don’t care about the Grammys; I just would like for the statistics to be more accurate.” – Math is really important.
“I am so credible and so influential and so relevant that I will change things.” – And so humble.
“It’s only led me to complete awesomeness at all times. It’s only led me to awesome truth and awesomeness. Beauty, truth, awesomeness.” – On his feelings about Taylor Swift “Imma Let You Finish”-gate.
“I would hear stories about Steve Jobs and feel like he was at 100 percent exactly what he wanted to do, but I’m sure even a Steve Jobs has compromised. You know, even a Kanye West has compromised.” – A Jessica Blankenship just vomited a little.
“There’s a bunch of people that are hurt that still couldn’t have made the album that was super-polarizing and redefined the sound of radio.” – Kanye on the DEATH OF HIS MOTHER ARE YOU SERIOUS I LOVE IT SO MUCH.
“I was able to slip past everything with a pink polo, but I am Dead Prez.” – The revolution will be fratty.
“Yo, I’m going to be super Zenned out like, five years from now.” – OMG, Kanye and I lie to ourselves in the same way!
“I’m a minimalist in a rapper’s body.” – Is “minimalist” code for “lady”, my leather skirt-wearing friend?
“I’m still, like, slightly a snob.” – Personal growth.
“Yeah, kill self. That’s all I have to say. Kill self.” – Kanye speaking for all of us about how we dressed 5 years ago.
“The longer your ‘gevity is, the more confidence you build.” – Ye fucking with words, presumably just to turn me on.
“The idea of Kanye and vanity are like, synonymous.” – Jennifer Lopez is not pleased.
“If you don’t make Christmas presents, meaning making something that’s so emotionally connected to people, don’t talk to me.” – Like an iPad?
“Why do you want to control me? Like, I want the world to be better! All I want is positive! All I want is dopeness! Why would you want to control that?” – Kanye writing anti-birth control ads.
“Respect my trendsetting abilities. Once that happens, everyone wins. The world wins; fresh kids win; creatives win; the company wins.” – Let’s make #freshkidswin a thing.
“I think what Kanye West is going to mean is something similar to what Steve Jobs means. I am undoubtedly, you know, Steve of Internet, downtown, fashion, culture. Period. By a long jump. I honestly feel that because Steve has passed, you know, it’s like when Biggie passed and Jay-Z was allowed to become Jay-Z.” – Why does this make total fucking sense to me?
“I am the nucleus.” – This is officially the new “I am the walrus.”