College, what a place. At no other point in my life have I been exposed to so many different people in such a short time span. And, while not to suggest that one mold fits all, below you’ll find six blueprints of college dudes I stumble upon on the regular. Maybe you can relate. (Note: these guys will sound especially familiar if you go to school in New England.)
1. Outdoorsy Dude
First, we have our outdoorsy dude. Chances are he leaves his hair slightly overgrown and rocks some light stubble. When you spot him, you can be sure he’ll be sporting a Patagonia jacket and a Northface backpack with lots of buckles. He has an appreciation for the greener things in life (weed included). Trying to hang with him this weekend? Too bad, he’s probably out hiking a new trail or putting his snowboard to use.
2. Artsy Boy
Next comes artsy boy, and there’s a slight chance he thinks he’s 2 cool 4 u. You’ll probably spot him wearing a Mac DeMarco-esque cap and an oversized denim jacket with patches. Underneath the clothes, he has an ever-growing collection of eclectic tattoos. Hobbies? Probably “making beats” or shopping for street brands online. If you haven’t seen him out it’s because you’ve never heard of the venue.
3. Frat Star
That leads us to the frat star: celebrated by some, dreaded by most. He’s usually decked out in Vineyard Vines. When the weather allows for it, you’ll spot him in an aggressively bright pair of Chubbies. He still used phrases like “Saturdays are for the Boys” but nobody is entirely sure if he’s being ironic. He’s great at pong and even better at getting blackout. Oh, and he thinks you’re a really great girl but he’s not looking for a relationship right now. You can still bang though.
4. The Import
This is the guy who comes from a land far far away. He could be from Denmark, Dubai, or anywhere in between, but one thing is for sure: this kid is really fucking loaded. Not to be confused with your everyday foreign tourist, this guy’s parents are shelling out major dough to send their boy to a fancy school across the ocean. You can spot the import because he’ll be wearing mostly black clothing from stores you can’t afford to shop at (RIP). He’s somehow able to buy a table at the most expensive club twice a week and does alternating weekends in NYC and Miami. No biggie. Odds that he’s more high maintenance than you? 11/10.
5. Comp Sci King
It’s the comp sci king. If you’ve haven’t seen him in class, it might be because 90% of the students in his major are other dudes. You can identify him through his pair of black-framed glasses and his obvious lack of tan. He probably has a CS job lined up that pays more than what you hope to make in the next 10 years (FML). But no, he doesn’t spend all his time coding, okay? He also games and invests in Bitcoin. It’s the currency of the future, after all.
6. LinkedIn Lad
The last boy on the list is our LinkedIn Lad. I can describe him in two words: career ready. His LinkedIn page is a pristine masterpiece with 500+ connections and endorsements from past managers he had to kiss ass to get. He likes to throw around words like “synergy” and “disrupt.” He assumes that getting to an interview via airplane is standard since he’s so used to be flown out. No need to daydream about what he’d look like in a suit because you’ve already seen him in one, like…every day.