We all become what we promise ourselves we won’t: selfish, arrogant, inconsiderate, unkind, intolerant. Most days, we are everything opposite of love. We go to war with ourselves, trying to prove things we aren’t even sure we fully believe, all for the sake of being right.
I’m guilty, too. I’m even more guilty of bringing my mess to others, passing my platter of hurt down the big dinner table, making sure everyone gets a bite of pain before I apologize. I’ve hurt more people than I should’ve, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the words I’ve said and the anger I’ve thrown around. I’m sorry for decisions I’ve made that affected others and the apologies I never said. And sometimes, the weight of this guilt on my shoulders forces me to my helpless knees.
So while I can’t guess what might be drowning you today, I reach out my hand to you and say, I’m with you and I feel you and I hear you. I feel your pain and I hear your cries for help. I see the devastation you’ve endured and I see your need for the apologies you never got. I see the places you ache and the places you still crave healing. And we’re all in the same boat. We choose to let our boat sink or we work together to bail the water, take control of the sails, and let the wind blow us back to shore, bruised and beaten. Let’s all sit down at the big table of humanity and take part in everyone’s mess, accepting the feast of pain and enduring the struggle together.
The greatest fear among us is uncertainty. Uncertainty exists and takes hold in destructive ways, crippling us to a state of immovability and mental paralysis. So I challenge you to fight the urge to be complacent and move instead. Dream instead. Dream bigger, dream louder. Live louder. Be radical and let the world hear you— it needs more of your voice and more of your shambles brought to our big messy party.
And know this: the unbelievable shattering of your heart is never your fault, but the fault of a broken world. Someone bigger than the entire universe wants to pump the blood back in your veins and tie your heart back together with the most beautiful, shining ribbons. He wants to be the apology you never received and the calming of your fears and the answer to your questions. But more than anything, surround yourself with people who love you. That’ll quickly mend any hurting heart.
Even with the mud on your shoes and the anxiety in your heart, you will keep going, and I feel personally responsible to communicate the assurance that we will all keep going. I promise.