In a dream, I wish I could meet you again that night when I had caught a sight of you.
That slow glance, film-like movement of you looking at my direction. that fluttering sensation when our eyes met. The butterflies.
The butterflies that made my heart want to come out of my chest.
If I could go back in time when we first met, I swear I would never let those fucking butterflies on my stomach screw me over again.
I cursed the butterflies that turned into harrowing heartbreaks and desolate ache.
As I dim the light at night, your memories are my never ending nightmare.
Behind closed doors, I was always the love who never left you in spite of bruises on my skin and pain that rests between my bones. I was the love who loved your demons, your worst, your flaws.
I was the love who fought the hardest to hold on no matter how hurtful it was.
I wish I never stayed and loved you to the point of pain.
I wish I could meet you again, in a world of “Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind”, I would wish to be your Clementine.
If only there’s such a thing as a forgetting pill.
I wanted to forget the life we had together. how we used to talk about and envision the kids we never had, the way you kissed me before you get off for work, how you loved to listen to songs every morning, our smiles, our laughs, the dreams that you had made with me, and the love we shared after every sunset.