1. Asking if we’re picking players based on how “cute” they are or how “pretty” that teams’ jersey is.
Can you just not? A quarterback’s level of attractiveness is obviously not going to help me put up enough points each week to win my matchup. No mascot, no team color combination and no jersey is going to help me get close to the Shiva. Sure, sometimes people win off of dumb luck, but I’m not in this thing to play my hand at chance. I’m in it to win it.
2. Boyfriends trying to set your line up for you.
This is my team, and my money on the line, not yours. I don’t care that you’re “just trying to help,” I know what I’m doing. I know who I should and should not be starting with this week. Here’s a question: who made it all the way to the Shiva their first year playing fantasy? Not you? Okay then…You worry about your league, and I’ll worry about mine. Know that if I wanted your help, I’d ask for it. So please don’t give me your unsolicited advice. I still want to like you.
3. People assuming your boyfriend sets your line up for you.
Let me stop you right there. Any girl who is playing fantasy football most likely takes football very seriously. So seriously, in fact, that she may actually pay attention to injuries, suspensions, and the hawk the waiver wire weekly. My boyfriend has his own fantasy team(s) to worry about, and I honestly think that if he didn’t take his as seriously as he does, we would’ve broken up a long time ago. Where I’m from, football=life.
4. When others stifle their smack talk around us because we’re girls…
Please don’t worry about offending me; please don’t think that I can’t handle your trash talk. You’re ruining half the fun of fantasy if you’re worrying about keeping the vulgarity to a minimum just because of my gender. I’m going to insult you, so I expect the same in return. Reciprocity. Just make sure you can back up what you say and, y’know, actually beat me.
5. Hearing things like, “Wow, you’re actually good at this.”
Yes, I’m aware…thanks.