The Walking Dead isn’t even a quarter of the way through season 5, yet the rejuvenation of this series has been so so sweet. So far, there have been five key moments that have made me hop off the couch and positively interject loud obscenities using all of my available testosterone.
***WARNING: WALKERS, CANNIBALS, AND SPOILERS AHEAD***
Here are those 5 moments, in possibly chronological order:
1. Carol obliterates a propane tank
All you really need is a bottle rocket and a sniper rifle… oh yeah, and it would behoove you to immerse yourself in Zombie intestines. Talk about intestinal fortitude! Okay, that was awful. On to the next Fuck Yeah! moment.
2. Rick kills two butchers with kindling
The Terminians did “screw” with the wrong people, and yes, thank you for keeping the language PG while upping the ante on the manslaughter and gore, Walking Dead. Yeah, Rick made his point, and yeah, it was awesome when he bull-rushed and eliminated the two butchers at the slaughter trough with just a shard of old wood. Those two drones got what was coming to them, and Rick officially reminded all of us that you just don’t “screw” with him — let alone his former walkie-talkie pal, Glen.
3. Tyreese defeats several walkers off screen, bull-rushes Martin and obliterates his left orbital
Tyreese is a polite man inside a cabin, and an absolute nightmare to the undead outside of one. In this moment in season 5, episode 1, all you hear are maniacal screams, pounding against the north wall of the cabin, and then silence…. and then another bull rush! Apparently bull-rushing must’ve tested off the charts among Walking Dead focus groups.
4. The reverse ambush at the Episcopal church
Not to say I understand how to read Tarot cards or anything, but did anyone else think Gareth was “taking a little too long” with the premeditated murder preamble in the church? Although I’m glad Rick blew his fingers off, I began to get worried for Carl, the baby, and the fact that Tyreese was about to do something idiotically diplomatic. Thank Kirkman that the good guys re-arrived when they did, and that Rick beat Gareth to the revenge kills. Which leads me to F-yeah! Moment number 5…
5. Rick prophetically kills Gareth with a red-handled machete
“…and there’s a machete with a red handle… that’s what I’m gonna use to kill you” – Rick explaining to Gareth the contents of the “bag in the woods.”
Rick may have gone overboard, or this may have been the necessary punishment when dealing with a cannibal. Because Gareth did slow-roast Bob’s leg after all. When Gareth begged for mercy, it nearly appeared that Rick was gonna let him live — but then he remembered that Merle Dixon stole his last pair of handcuffs, and this made Rick get real dark, real fast. Delivering an inhumane slaughter that only a twisted hipster like Gareth could ironically appreciate.