An Interview With A Dude And His 12” Penis

Thought Catalog: Hi, how are you?

Dude With Huge Penis: I’m good, just doing an IAMA [on Reddit] which is going surprisingly well.

TC: So your penis is gigantic. What’s up with that?

DWHP: That it is. It’s been big for quite a few years, so I suppose I’m used to it. It’s fun and I love it. It’s an ego boost and it gets girls. While many guys try to be the biggest gym-wise, the richest, or anything like that and know that doing this helps bring the girls, I have learned that a girl would, given even chance, choose a huge dick over any of those.

TC: Understandable. I’d choose a gargantuan penis over gargantuan forearms. Are you going to do porn?

DWHP: I’ve had a ton of people tell me I should go into porn but I still don’t want to for a few reasons. I don’t want to expose my identity through film for the world, also my body is not yet incredibly fit enough to be a porn star…I am fit for sure, but I’d rather continue to get bigger muscle-wise before I’d start something like that.

TC: When you walk down the street, do you scoff at all the other men knowing your penis is larger?

DWHP: I don’t scoff at anyone, but when someone pisses me off I chuckle quietly to myself about how I will always be bigger.

TC: If you could compare your penis to one inanimate object, what would it be?

DWHP: One object girls love putting it next to is an iPhone because I can completely cover it, as in I’ll have skin all the way around if it sits on my dick.

TC: Wow. Now whenever I look at my iPhone, I’ll undoubtedly think of your dick. What’s the best part about having a huge penis?

DWHP: I love girls’ reaction faces, I think it’s one of the best things ever and usually seeing a good reaction makes me even harder. I love the fact that nearly every girl I’ve been with has mentioned on her own that sex with me was the best she has ever had.

TC: What’s the worst part about having a goliath jimmy?

DWHP: It sucks for some physical reasons, I’m too big for an athletic cup, a speedo, etc. Also sometimes it makes me sad that I’m big — but not all the girls I’m with know that I am. Life would probably be very different if everyone I encountered knew. Some notice, but some don’t and thats annoying.

TC: When did you first learn your penis was larger than everyone else’s?

DWHP: I learned in 5th grade, when (this is going to seem very odd) I was in the bathroom and my friend in the stall next to me wanted to see who could backup further and still pee in the urinal. He didn’t say anything, but I noticed that I was at least three times bigger–which was confirmed in 6th grade, my first year of middle school…we had gym locker rooms. I was about 6” soft.

TC: Congratulations, you’re a grower and a shower. Could your penis kill?

DWHP: Probably. I’ve been with an amateur porn star before and she told me to be aggressive. I made it so she screamed and couldn’t walk. Wasn’t that tough. I’ve learned to use my penis for the powers of pleasure not pain because girls don’t like when it’s too rough.

TC: Just like Spiderman…”with great power comes great responsibility.” On that note, which superhero does your penis look like the most?

DWHP: If we’re talking superheroes… obviously the Hulk.

TC: Do you think your penis is larger or smaller than my arm?

DWHP: I’ve had girls who compare it to their arms and it’s longer and thicker. So if you have a girly arm I suppose its bigger.

TC: I do. My arms are girly. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

image – Shutterstock

Jeremy Glass is a Connecticut-born writer with a deep appreciation for pretty ladies, fast food, and white t-shirts.

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