Blame it on Katy Perry, but the whole “the one who got away” mentality has become all consuming. That’s why I would like to talk about what has happened in the past, so we can all stop dwelling on it here in the present.
Cliché as it may sound, just because you are alone today does not mean that you should be lonely. Stop replaying all the “what ifs” and “almosts” in your mind, because all of your exes are gone for good reasons.
1. He’s off to a different life.
“Where do you see yourself five years from now” is always a question recruiters ask potential employees to see how committed they are, because as much as we would like to yolo, the future is always going to come. If your boyfriend is a little older and imagines himself having a family in the next few years, you probably know what’s going to happen next.
He might’ve been awesome in every sense, but if you see yourself wandering and exploring the great unknown after college, your paths won’t intersect. Think of breaking up with him as doing him a favor by letting him find his future, one that you know you aren’t meant to be in. Someday, you will find yourself smiling at his family or graduation photo.
2. He’s your friend’s ex.
There are codes (even though they were never put into writing) that we should follow on who we can or cannot date. Your friendship with your BFF’s ex may start out harmlessly. But sooner or later, things will get awkward and I don’t mean just between you and your friend, but with the rest of the gang. So, need I say more?
3. You met him when you were still in a relationship or vice versa.
This happens when you and your partner are both busy with your own lives and then you meet someone else who fits in your world perfectly fine. He might be a colleague or someone from your church or a person who randomly shows up in the same places you do. You know you have a spark, but one or both of you are still tied up to another person, and you know it would be wrong to tweet or text him at 1AM to ask him how he’s doing. If you guys would have ended up as a couple, karma or guilt would’ve been a huge bump in the road.
4. He’s a very good friend.
You’ve both thought about it and ended up dismissing the idea, because you know better. He isn’t the one, just because he knows you from back when you were young and didn’t even know yourself yet. There really are people you’re meant to build very deep yet platonic relationships with. You don’t have to romanticize things. Ten years from now, you’ll be thankful you didn’t cross that line, because he will still have your back and you’ll realize your story couldn’t get any better than that.
5. He’s from a different faith.
You will sometimes find yourself saying that it’s just a date and you’re not getting married, but if religion is something that cannot be bended for you, it’s best for you to save yourself the drama and not dive in. You know that someday the issue of where to go on a Sunday would’ve led to an argument, so be thankful the relationship didn’t work out.
6. He never received your parents’ approval.
Even though you were already an adult when you two met, parents often have instincts that you don’t. After all, you are the type of daughter who would want your parents to meet your boyfriend and give him their blessings. Family is permanent and no one should ever be in a situation where they have to choose between their lover or their parents.
7. He has a lot of baggage.
This may come in a form of emotional instability or a crazy ex, and even though you are an independent and strong woman who can handle those things, you deserve better than that. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should, right? Let’s get rid of that messiah complex, because we know that he is the only one who can save himself. Find a man you don’t have to bend all of your standards for.