6 Things You Realize About Being Single When You’re A 20-Year-Old Virgin

Edwoodya / www.twenty20.com/photos/15a2f34f-9fff-4991-b027-86a72909e9ec
Edwoodya / www.twenty20.com/photos/15a2f34f-9fff-4991-b027-86a72909e9ec

As a 20-year-old guy who has never had a girlfriend I’ve had people think I’m either weird, gay, fugly, or, I don’t know, just some kind of loser. I’m pretty much sure that some other guys even find me pathetic and see my virginity level as 101%. But, believe it or not, I enjoy being single and here are six things that being single has made me realize. 

1. You Don’t Have The Stress Of Commitment While You’re Young

Don’t get me wrong though, I did had several flings and MUs (Mutual Understandings) to what they call it. I also did try to court girls, but apparently it didn’t last. I don’t know, maybe that’s why I never had a girlfriend because of my commitment issues. I mean I tried to give both time and effort, but maybe I just didn’t give my whole 100%. You see, back when I was in high school, I did get rejected several times, and the one that was most painful was being rejected by your first high school love.

Anyway, one thing I’ve learned was in a starting relationship, never invest too much emotion, because you never know what happens next. Weigh things out, don’t let your emotions control your decisions. With that, I did enjoy having not to stress on giving my whole commitment to anyone. Well, I know someday I will, but right now I’m happy being single.

I’ve also come to realize I enjoy prioritizing the things I want to do for myself, because if I go into a relationship, I want to be 100% ready and be able to give my whole commitment to the person I love. For now, I want to prepare myself for my future bride to be and overcome the things I would want to overcome like my freakishly weird commitment issues. 

2. You Start To Think You Might Be Ugly

There will be days when you look at yourself at the mirror and ask, “Am I Ugly?”

Well as an insecure kid, I did question that several times. But hey, time passed and I overcame my insecurities and learned to love myself for who I am. I mean God gave me this face, and I’m truly grateful for it. Modesty aside, as I became more confident, girls started to like me more. I felt I was such a heartthrob.

Okay now I think I’m being overly confident. Anyway, the best way to overcome your insecurities is being thankful for the gift God has given you, and as Justin Bieber says in one of his songs, “You should go and love yourself” (well of course, not in a creepy narcissistic way though). 

3. You Get To Really Enjoy your family and friends

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that being in a relationship would put you in a state of having no more time for both your family and friends. What I’m saying is that you can spend more time with them if you’re single.

4. You’re Truly Independent

At the age of 17 I started to live alone to pursue my college education. I was alone in my apartment and it really taught me to be both responsible and independent. Being single for so long has allowed me to be independent and I found happiness in other ways like; with the company of my friends, going out, eating and just chillin’.

If one of the reasons a person wants to be in a relationship is just so they’ll never be lonely then they should think again. Being in a relationship is not a past time or something to do when you’re bored. Being in a relationship requires you to give your love, time, commitment and efforts. Being in a relationship is no game. So for me, I would prefer to prepare myself and get to know me more before sharing my life with my future bride.

5. You’ll be a deep thinker

You’ll learn to think things through before doing a decision. Well sometimes being a deep thinker will allow you to become an over thinker and will sometimes drive you crazy, but the thing is you’ll eventually realize that it too has its perks.

6. I’m in no rush to find “The One”

You’ll eventually realize that there’s no point in rushing yourself to find “the one”. Believe in God’s timing. Don’t rush things. God is preparing you for the right time. So that if the day comes, “you’ll be ready to say I do”. So to my future wife, I will see you soon. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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