Confessions Of The Girl On The Side

I am your secret life, whether you admit it or not. I am the girl you chat with when your real girl is busy with her art, with the rest of her life. I am the girl you call when you want to talk about something and she’s already asleep. I am the girl you get to share your stories of misadventures with, because your real girl might judge if you tell her everything. I am the girl you hang out with when she has to work far away. I am the girl with whom you text the most random things, because she just won’t understand. I am the girl you text dirty stuff with when she’s not around and you need your fix.

I am your secret life, even though you don’t tell me. I am a part of your life stuck in the corner, waiting and wanting to fully enter your heart. But it will not happen. I will forever linger in that corner wishing to be some kind of a “legal friend”. It makes me sad knowing that I will never meet the people (and pets) in your stories. It makes me frustrated realizing that I will never get the chance to travel with you to the places you’ve described to me. Our relationship is just like a reader to a book. The reader can only imagine everything, unless he/she takes actions to make it a reality.

I am the reader. You are my favorite book by far. But I can’t make this real. I simply don’t have the right to demand. But know this: if I can, then I will. I am willing to take a chance with you. But, who am I kidding? After some time, you’re going to have to tie things up with her, your ‘real life’, the life your family and friends know of. And I will become a secret that no one else around you will ever know. I will be buried beneath the deepest part of your heart and mind. Or probably, I will be completely erased, forgotten forever. You will forget about me as fast as a bubble bursts.

The funny thing is, despite knowing all that, I still want to continue being your secret life for as long as I can, for as long as you want me to. I know it’s a stupid thing to do. But you, you monster, have made me do stupid and crazy things I swore I’d never do. And you keep me wanting more. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

featured image – HaoJan Chang

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