Is there a woman in this world that isn’t afraid of getting older? Maybe. But for sure that’s not me. The 20s were like a dessert I craved a long time, all about the good life, the unchaining from the parental authority, the missteps, and the endless fun. The more you I got closer to my 30s, the more reminders that my clock is ticking I have received.
“Why are you still not married? Are you planning to? Are you going to have kids? You know, the daughter of my friend has two and she is your age.”
“Career is important but not that much. You should settle down. Is your guy The guy? You know, the son of our friends is single and he is a doctor.”
Every family gathering was like a verbal war against my unwillingness to follow rules.
I can’t recall the number of times anxiety has rushed in my head, asking me “What the hell are you doing with your life? Look around girl, people mature, and settle down at some point!”
But what if I am not ready? What if I never be? The time flies and no change seem to be present. That is why the entrance in my thirties was filled with expectations and pressure. But a random meeting with a woman older than me and her bright and cheerful attitude toward the thirties made me think “Maybe I am wrong, maybe the thirties aren’t so bad after all”. But what could I possibly find in this decade that will make me fall in love with myself again?
Appreciating the concept of time
Being 30 means you have spent enough time on this earth and you have gained enough experience to value time because you know it slips so fast if we don’t fully enjoy it. You are starting to realize you have no time to small talk. You stop trying to make good impression to people that aren’t important to you. You make time for the things that matter (regardless of what this means to you). You start putting yourself first.
Nothing has changed and, in the same time, everything is different
When I was 15, I thought that by the time I was 20, I should have it all – the good family, the kids, the successful career, the perfect social circle. When 20, I postponed it until 25, because 25 sounds like so old, when you are 20. Back then, thirty sounded scary. And now I see that nothing’s changed. What is different is that mistakes are made and lessons are learned. Perfection is overrated. I am thankful for every wrong turn, because at the end it happened to be a right one. That is why I confident that even better times are coming.
Confidence to stand up for yourself
I already mentioned the pressure that fills in the air in your late 20s. You try to stand for yourself, usually you are confronting people you love and they love you, and this battle can be ugly. The good news is that, at some point, you acquire the confidence needed. You stop trying to convince everybody in your truth. Happiness means something different for everybody – a good career, a big family, tons of friends, non-stop partying, boarding passes and passport full of stamps, or simply a tea and a good book. And, the other important thing is that you start realizing that all these pushes and fights were only because the people around you want you to be happy. Once you start showing them you really are happy with where you are and what you have, everything will fall into place.
Practicing self-love and self-care
Eventually, after all you have been going through, you start learning that you should put yourself first. And, no, it is not called egoism. Self-care is a must, because if you want you and the people around you to be comfortable in your soul and life you should clean them first and make them a nice place to be. Enough sleep, health care, sports, laughter, alone time, together time, whichever works for you (and maybe a combination of them all would be the best alternative). So, go for it, and make your life the best place to be. That’s how you will love yourself at any age (even in your thirties, which, I have discovered, are awesome!).