I made a trip back to my Alma Mater for Homecoming Weekend and I was confused as to how to act. I was excited to see my friends and campus. However, I felt a little out of place. I graduated last December and I already felt like I was too old. Here are signs you are too old for college parties:
1. Everyone else looks like they are 14 years old.
2. When the beer bong comes your way you pretend you have to go to the bathroom.
3. To “get ready” you put on jeans, a tee, and deodorant.
4. You need to take a nap before you leave the house.
5. While playing beer pong you don’t hit every shot back to back like you could in college, you take 4 turns to make one.
6. You don’t buy the cheapest beer at the local gas station.
7. Watching students twerk on bar tops and tables makes you wonder what other bad decisions they will make that night, not the wanting to join.
8. That feeling of death in the morning.
9. Everyone wants to be your friend because you have “a real person job” not because you are a great beer pong partner.
10. Waiting in line to get into the “hottest bar” is not appealing, at all.
11. You lose your voice in the first 2 hours.
12. Everyone is giving you a hug, even the people you don’t know. And it’s awkward.
13. You don’t want to go to the sticky and dark bathroom so you hold it for hours.
14. The “fear of missing out” does not play as big of an role anymore.
15. It is apparently “fancy” to drink wine, even if it’s out of a solo cup.