The guy at the bar who got your number after 10 minutes of small talk. The Tinder date who looked and seemed great after a first date fueled by nervous rambling and gin and tonics. The boy you’ve been “casually seeing” (i.e. meeting up with for late drinks on the weekends, which inevitably lead to hook ups) for the past few weeks. There’s no end to the amount of people you’ve fallen in love with, way too fast and way too hard.
Between the time you meet someone and the next time you hang out with them, you’ve already imagined the cute Instagram pictures you’re going to post of the two of you, how you’ll win his family over upon meeting them, and how jealous your ex will be when he proposes (although at that point, you surely won’t care about what your ex thinks anymore, right?).
You’ve stalked his Facebook (and Instagram, and Twitter, and LinkedIn) back to 2007 and so you totally know him now. You know that he’s really close with his family, that he loves music (OMG, so do you), and that you’re way cuter than his ex-girlfriend. Everything you find out about him seems to check the list you’ve built in your mind of the perfect boyfriend. So after the first date, when he tells you all the things you already know and have committed to memory, your infatuation just grows stronger.
Inevitably, this love goes as quickly as it came, and you feel brokenhearted for no reason at all. After all, you’ve only known each other for 3 weeks and have gone on just as many dates. Turns out he’s not the perfect person he painted himself out to be. Or maybe he just isn’t the person you painted him out to be in your mind. Yes, he’s close with his family, but he absolutely hates dogs and is even rude to yours. Sure, he loves music, but also loves the hard drugs that he does at the raves he goes to every month. At least you’re still cuter than his ex-girlfriend.
It feels like a breakup and a letdown every single time. You’re breaking up with the perfect guy, but he was only perfect because you refused to see the bad in him. You have selective hearing, only wanting to believe the parts of him that matched what you were looking for. It’s not a bad thing, though. It just means you have a lot of love to give.
Every time a situation turns out for the worse, someone else is right around the corner, ready for you to love the best of him. The world needs more people like you. How many people still see, first and foremost, the good in people instead of immediately jumping to bad conclusions? Every time you fall in love, there’s a little bit more magic in the world. So you go girl, keep on loving.