I’ve been single-single for the past four years, and ain’t nobody apologizing for it.
The last four years have been the most revolutionary and productive years of my life. In my very unattached-journey, I’ve not only reached my personal and professional goals, but I’ve been learning and unlearning my every desire and need in a perfect partnership.
It wasn’t an easy start — to be honest, being single wasn’t entirely my choice. I’d have cravings to call the exes or try to convince myself that a fuck-boy could be more than it really was — it never is.
There were challenges – some very painful and lonely moments, but during my discovery, I was committed to seeing every positive light in times I was in the dark.
Below are 6 perfect truths that will make you feel alive while you’re single, and well-prepared till you meet your destined partner.
Perfect Truth #1 – Your future ‘one’ is walking this earth with you.
It’s 7:20 a.m., I’m sitting at my favorite coffee shop, scribing, sipping on my latte and blasting Kygo’s new album, “Kids In Love.” I’m fancying all the abundance and gratitude in my life, and I’m feeling happy — really happy.
On top of that, the very reality that at this exact moment, my future partner is somewhere roaming this earth is worth smiling ear-to-ear about.
Somewhere in this world of ours, my life-partner is out there.
Maybe we’ve met, or maybe we’ll meet later this week. Maybe he’s still in a relationship he thinks is the ‘one’, or maybe, he’s out there playing the field like a fucking idiot.
Maybe…I’m doing the same…
Maybe, we’ve once dated but got parted to pursue our purpose and maybe we’ll meet again when our timing is right. Or maybe he’s in discovery mode, just as I.
That’s a lot of maybe’s, but they can all be the most realistic possibilities.
Knowing that my future partner is walking this earth at the same exact time as I put my heart at ease. It’s a reminder that it’s not in our control to meet when we want, and instead, it’s up to the time that’s perfectly right.
Perfect Truth #2: Embrace the calm before the perfect storm.
The moment I meet and commit to my perfect partner is the day my whole life changes. It’s not just about me, but of him and his well-being. What’s he thinking, how is he feeling, and what the fuck does he want to eat?! See, it’s already complicating!
I’ll have a new focal point in my life — it’ll be him.
The last four years of my life has been a selfish journey. I counted for myself, ordered for me, made decisions that left room for only me and my passions, and that’s how I’ve accomplished so much career-success in my life — thank you.
But through all my accomplishments, I realized I didn’t have anyone to share these positive moments with. I know things are going to change when I meet my partner — which is why it’s important to embrace the time that I have for ‘me,’ till I do.
The perfect truth that I have this time to build ‘me’ to be a greater version of myself every day is all that I can control, and it’s perfect.
Perfect Truth #3: Dating all the ‘ones’ will help define the perfect ’one’ designed for you.
My best times of being single are the times I had to discover all the great and well, not-so-great fishes in the sea. Some of them are pieces of shit — and that’s okay! At least, you know, right?
You name it, I’ve dated it.
From book nerds to tech nerds, emotionally unavailable to ‘too’-damn-available, white collar, blue collar, peter pans, foreigners, fighters, and flighters.
I have quite the dating resume, but that’s the richest part of the journey. Whether it’s casual or a serious chapter, unlimited dating is the antidote to finding all the perfect ingredients in the things you want, and don’t want in your future partner.
Although I’m still in discovery mode, I’m not short of the experiences to help me notice and value my partner when I meet him.
It’ll be one of those, “I’ll know when I know,” kind-of-moments.
Perfect Truth #4: You’ll design your very busy life.
Having too much time while you’re single is every reason a singleton is scared of being single.
In the 4 years of my unattached life, I’ve designed such a busy life that weaves out the bullshit I can’t afford to think about. Like, sorry – but, not sorry.
I choose to focus on the actions I can make every day to create the events, lifestyle and attract the people that I want to invest in my life.
Truth is, you need to be busy. You need to design a life you deserve for yourself, and in your journey to building your ‘busy’ life, you’ll discover your wholeness.
With the time you have being single and fabulous, create the life you want to share with your soon-to-meet, partner.
Perfect Truth #5: Building your self-confidence for you, and for your future ‘one.’
If you know me, you’ll know I’m in many times narcissistic, I believe in myself with conviction, I’m insanely chaotic-in-the-mind, and have insecurities that I’ll still find sexy and charming.
I’m confident in who I am, and that’s my greatest quality — thank you.
I have never felt more beautiful than in the days, weeks and months I’ve spent investing in myself. Being single enabled me to venture into the deepest, darkest and most beautiful parts of my mind, body, and spirit, and bring it to life.
And guess what? Before I meet my ‘one,’ I’ll enter the partnership with confidence, love, and security to deposit into his life, not withdraw.
Reality Check #6: Your ‘now’ will only happen once.
Steve Jobs described it perfectly when he said, “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.”
As I’m sipping on my latte, gazing around this coffee shop, scribing my every thought and truth to share with the world, I’m realizing that every action that I make in this moment is an action towards attracting my perfect partner.
I may not realize how big of an impact all my actions are making to a greater future, but I’ll be able to connect the dots looking back.
It’s such a beautiful phenomenon, isn’t it?
This last perfect truth inspires me to create and make the most memories to try everything once, on my own, before I meet my ‘one.’
I’m going to sip this latte like it’s mine forever, be in this very still and peaceful mentality like it’s the last time I have to myself, and cherish every moment I experience today like it’s all perfectly designed, for me — because when I meet him, I’ll be ready to share a world with him, and it’ll be perfection.
Till then, I’ll be in the ‘now,’ and accept all the abundance in the right moment I have to myself — for myself.