I do not date much and as a result, both friends and family have accused me of having unreachable standards. One of the arguments that I constantly hear is that every boy deserves at least a chance.
The problem with giving every guy a chance is the false hope that accompanies it. I have always operated under the golden rule of treating others the way I would like to be treated. There have been so many times that I have been on not one, but multiple dates with guys who were ‘just giving me a chance’. I would honestly prefer it if they did not even bother because most of the time, if they are indecisive from the get go, it never changes. I know that there are exceptions to every rule, but in my experience, every time I’ve allowed myself to become remotely involved with a guy who was on the fence about anything, I have found myself disappointed. With that in mind, I also know that if I am even slightly iffy about accepting a date invitation from a guy, most of the time I am definitely not interested enough to be wasting his time and money. I understand that the concept of dating is taking the time to get to know someone, but it’s not fair to string someone along with my uncertainty. I appreciate the same respect from guys because in the end, I don’t want to just be considered an option, and that’s what uncertainties usually end up. Options. Not decisions.
Whenever I use this argument among friends, they like to counter with my standards being too high. I have been told that I am superficial or that I am asking too much or that I watch too many Disney movies and am looking for a handsome prince that doesn’t exist. The bottom line is that I am not looking for some handsome prince to sweep me off my feet. I actually do not have a specific set of standards that I expect a man to conform to. All that I’m looking for is a feeling; I want someone who makes me want to check my phone for texts every two seconds, want to feel butterflies everytime I go out to meet him. I want someone who challenges me, makes me think, makes me question everything and just generally makes me a better person, while hoping that I do the same for him.
I think that ultimately, a feeling is all that anyone is looking for. There are different standards that are set to achieve said feeling, but the desired outcome is usually the same. Some people will date a million guys in search of it; others will sit and wait for the right one, ignoring all others in favor of that perfect fit. Having high standards is no worse a means of searching than the philosophy of giving everyone a chance is.