Here’s The Thing: It Doesn’t Always Get Better

There is not always a happy ending for everyone. Sometimes you have to reach a low that you didn’t even know existed before you can pull yourself back up. There is no one right answer. Self-help books, salted bubble baths, and Rupi Kaur poetry will not magically help you emerge from depression. If it does not get better, then it has to get different.

Maybe this was not the job for you, maybe this was not the love for you, maybe this was not the city you belonged in. Yet before you give up, before you have truly left, make sure you have done everything you can. Pride is the fastest route to regret. You cannot turn back time. The last thing you want to think is, “What if?” Perhaps you will feel embarrassed, inadequate, or even like a failure for a moment. That moment will pass and that feeling will change, but opportunities don’t last and they definitely do not wait.

As insane as this may seem, the greatest thing you can wish for is failure. You cannot know happiness without knowing sadness. When life is too easy, you tend to appreciate nothing. You take things for granted, and things that were supposed to mean everything to you slowly but surely start to mean nothing. It is much easier to be happy in a place that you earned rather than received.

Struggle is not a sign of failure, it is a sign of earning. Do not confuse hard work with losing. Not everything is a win right away. When you hear success stories, you only read the highlights. You do not read between the lines and hear about the rejection letters. You do not see the years that went into this “overnight success story.” You do not hear the doubt in other people’s voices that they fought not to listen to. Sure, everyone says it’s hard work. Yet we do not really know what hard work actually means. It is a euphemism for “I wanted to give up every single day, but I DIDN’T.”

Here’s the thing: it does not always get better, but it could be worth it. Life is not a movie. Everything will not magically fall into place when you decide you are ready. There isn’t always a happily ever after.

Personally I never liked happy endings. I never believed in them—they never seemed real to me. I like messy and complicated. I love watching people fall in love, and I mean fall. I do not want to watch love at first sight—that is boring. I want to watch heartache, pain, a love that knows how to come back from anything, because that is real and that is life.

About the author
A girl you used to know. Follow Jennifer on Instagram or read more articles from Jennifer on Thought Catalog.

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