You know that guilty feeling of self disgust you get when you’re doing something you know is bad, something you wouldn’t be doing if you knew other people were watching? Of course you do. Chances are I’m not the only one doing with these secret shames. Tell me I’m not alone.
1. Skipping the gym and eating two ice cream bars instead.
2. Buying another daring outfit I’ll never wear thinking “I can totally pull this off” but then getting scared and backing down when it comes time to actually wear it.
3. Leaving the wet laundry in the washer overnight or until it achieves that musty stank smell.
4. Putting above-mentioned laundry into the dryer anyway, hoping maybe a dryer sheet will do the trick but secretly knowing it will not.
5. Hitting the snooze button four times every morning, justifying it by telling my half-sleeping self that I can just do my makeup on the train, even though I subconsciously know I will either:
- be too lazy to do so
- be too rushed to remember my makeup
- actually attempt to do it and end up looking like a freak.
6. Posting Bright Eyes lyrics on Facebook when I’m sad and deleting them the next day.
7. Having frozen pizza for dinner while all the produce I buy with the best of intentions slowly rots in the bottom drawer of my fridge.
8. Telling friends I can’t make it to their events so I can have enough time to catch up on Netflix shows while fully expecting them to be supportive of my initiatives.
9. Taking only the good stuff from the mailbox while flyers and junk mail pile up. Sorry, mailman.
10. Taking the metro alone at night near NoMA.
11. Parking in 10-minute-only parking for slightly longer than 10 minutes.
12. Taking selfies and posting them on my blog even though I’ve been contacted by creepsters that way. Scary.