So all your friends are getting married, you are invited to tons of baby showers and engagement parties. You are getting tired of the seeing all the happy couples on fb on fabulous trips. You start wondering if you are missing out and you even ask yourself “Should I be doing more?” So you figure you might as well take the leap and try something different. So you you take a stab at online dating. Especially since online dating has been losing it’s stigma with 59% of Americans in 2013 actually stating it’s a good place to meet someone compared to much lower number in 2005.
But here is the problem. You finally take the leap to put your profile up, take the quiz, answer 100 personality questions, go through a zillion pictures to pick your favorite 3 (which you will constantly change anyway) not to mention the retype of your one liner screen name and tagline.
Then you wait.
So you decide to courageously send some likes, winks and emails to those who have decided would be a good partner for you at your next work or family party.
Then you wait again. wait some more.
So let me tell you the top 5 issues I see with my clients that are awesome but their online dating profile isn’t translating that.
1. Your Grammar. According to studies done by Zoosk.com, men and women both preferred people who had a grasp of good grammar and spelling. If you chose to answer messages with “cuz” “im” or “u” – on average, you received 13% fewer messages on Zoosk. Match.com revealed this was the number one turn-off for daters (even over text),
with 54% of women and 36% of men agreeing
Solution: Proofread, have someone else read it for you, Don’t type while you are tired
2. Bad Pictures: Try not be wrapped up in scarves, hats and coats. Outdoors and action shots get the most return messaging. Full body shots are the best. And men, please avoid the selfie shots. Don’t take pictures with other people in the pic. Smile. (:
3. When you interact with someone and really want to send them a message, read their profile, be specific and ask them just 1 question. example
“Hey what’s up, I liked your profile, I think we have alot in common. Want to chat some time. What your favorite restaurant?”
“Hey, Giselle, Congratulations on your art being presented at they NYC museums, sounds exciting. Are they still up?”
Better. Feel the difference?
4. Before you decide to say no to someone stop judging them so easily. Theirs a difference between using your intuition and being judgemental. Some people are better in person than on screen. Just like some people are way smarter than the way they take standardized tests.
5. Finally, stop hunting for your soulmate or spouse. Just date for now, have a good time, be open to a new experience, and have fun. If you keep wondering “is he the one” or “is she the one” you will be too blinded to see them for who they really are.